Video: Brian Atene’s audition tape for Stanley Kubrick

posted at 5:40 pm on October 30, 2006 by Allahpundit

This has been making the rounds, and there’s nothing else happening right now except the New York Times doing GOTV work for the Democratic Party.

Which doesn’t really qualify as “news.”

Bob Corker’s daughter kissing girls doesn’t qualify as news either, but if Ford’s still down a few points by the end of week, expect the media suddenly to find it very newsworthy indeed.

As for this, supposedly it was submitted in response to a nationwide casting call for “Full Metal Jacket.” You will weep.


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WTF is with that video? No wonder I never heard of that guy. Then the Karate Kid shows up.

Wow, young girls kissing. Never saw that before.

JammieWearingFool on October 30, 2006 at 5:50 PM

Is this his grade school yearbook shot?

JammieWearingFool on October 30, 2006 at 5:54 PM

Heh. He really Lexied himself there.

see-dubya on October 30, 2006 at 5:58 PM

I don’t get it.

Who the heck is Brian Atene?

If he were “someone” this might have a point… But ‘googling’ him, it seems that he is only known for this stupid video… And I’ll bet there are thousands just like it from talentless idiots from vatious ‘Schools of the Arts’ all over the world.

Now, If it were Hot Air’s own Bryan, it would be funny.

LegendHasIt on October 30, 2006 at 6:00 PM

Bob Corker’s daughter kissing girls doesn’t qualify as news either, but if Ford’s still down a few points by the end of week, expect the media suddenly to find it very newsworthy indeed.

I say it’s fauxtoshopped. We should investigate in great detail.

Pablo on October 30, 2006 at 6:02 PM

By the way, the Corker thing is vile, and the Memphis columnist who followed Wonkette’s lead on it ought to be fired.

see-dubya on October 30, 2006 at 6:04 PM

Wow, even too bizarre for Kubrick. Yet, not as bizarre as some of William Shatner’s stuff….yet also not as cool.

Jay on October 30, 2006 at 6:04 PM

is he drunk?

jummy on October 30, 2006 at 6:13 PM

Jumped both the shark and the couch in the same taping…

E L Frederick on October 30, 2006 at 6:15 PM

I love this video so much. He is basically the greatest person ever.

Alex K on October 30, 2006 at 6:27 PM

WTF. Scotty, beam…….

Scotsman on October 30, 2006 at 6:31 PM

OMG what a d-bag

bigbeas on October 30, 2006 at 6:35 PM

20 years later, he appears to be just as nuts.

el75 on October 30, 2006 at 6:47 PM

This is the guy that pushes the carts in from the Sack-N-Save parking lot up the street……no wonder everyone in town keeps their daughters away from him.

Limerick on October 30, 2006 at 6:50 PM

This guy says it’s a fake.

geoff on October 30, 2006 at 6:54 PM

OMG! I was laughing like heck watching that..It was like listening to a 70 year old southern black man do the Ralph Macchio part.

GoodBoy on October 30, 2006 at 7:45 PM

If Stanley Kubrick ever inflicted this level of hammy over-acting on me, I would demand a refund direct from Stanley. As for “The Outsiders”, great movie, well-written by S.E. Hinton, and brilliantly directed by Francis Ford Coppola. That loser, however, should be kicked.

thedecider on October 30, 2006 at 8:13 PM

UPDATE: The Brian Atene of today has made a followup video! (Note: This is NOT a link-whore outbreak):

Good Day, Mr. Kubrick…

pjcomix on October 30, 2006 at 9:38 PM

Oops! I messed up. Okay here is the Brian Atene of today. 22 years later:

Good Day, Mr. Kubrick 2006

pjcomix on October 30, 2006 at 9:40 PM

So that’s what Carville looked like when he had hair.

Mr. Bingley on October 30, 2006 at 10:42 PM

Okay…I am THOROUGHLY lost. Who is this guy? And why do we care about the videos?

tickleddragon on October 30, 2006 at 10:54 PM

ACTING!

GENIUS!

THANK YOU!

The Ugly American on October 30, 2006 at 11:21 PM

Loved the Bill Shatner link – at least when he’s swimming off the deep end, he’s got style. This character OTOH is just embarrassing. Enjoyed his screeching a little more when put to a Danny Elfman soundtrack – just in time for Halloween!

RD on October 31, 2006 at 2:48 AM

The Kubrick 2006 clip rules though :-)

RD on October 31, 2006 at 2:57 AM

Wow. That’s amazingly bad. I remember when The Outsiders came out as a movie. Ralph Macchio’s Johnny was the only one who played his part the way I pictured in my head when I first read the book. But the cast is a total who’s who of that generation. Cruise, Swayze, Lowe, Estevez, Dillon, C. Thomas Howell, Diane Lane, and even Leif Garrett.

As for this loser, I’m shocked that he was insane enough to make a follow-up video. Older, yes. Wiser? I dunno, his acting may have gotten worse, and after the first video that seemed impossible.

I enjoy how he says that he is “still acting”, and yet there are no credits ANYWHERE to his name.

AP, I think you’ve made us all dumber now. Be careful not to do that again before next week or some of us will regress to Democrat.

Freelancer on October 31, 2006 at 3:09 AM

I think it needs more cowbell. I can never get enough cowbell.

Faith1 on October 31, 2006 at 9:59 AM

As for this loser, I’m shocked that he was insane enough to make a follow-up video. Older, yes. Wiser? I dunno, his acting may have gotten worse, and after the first video that seemed impossible.

No worries mate :-) – the follow-up is a obviously a spoof. By someone else! (And he’s being kind – it could’ve been a lot more vicious ;)

RD on October 31, 2006 at 12:31 PM

Sure that wasn’t Brian Atene playing Rosie playing the retarded girl?

budorob on October 31, 2006 at 3:32 PM