Chuck Norris facts analyzed — by Chuck Norris
posted at 11:04 pm on October 25, 2006 by Allahpundit
And used as a jumping-off point to praise Jesus!
Roundhouse kick to Satan’s face:
While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let’s face it, most “Chuck Norris Facts” describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They’re describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It’s not me…
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” It’s funny. It’s cute. But here’s what I really think about the theory of evolution: It’s not real. It is not the way we got here…
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.”
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
“His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.”
I defy you to tell me this isn’t an Onion parody.
Update: Wikipedia’s suspicious, too.
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OK, I like Chuck Norris as much as the next guy–he seems like a really good guy–but his writing…. ugh.
DaveS on October 25, 2006 at 11:18 PM
Heh…
For some reason, that reminded me of this…
DaveS on October 25, 2006 at 11:21 PM
I wrote that. Sniff.
marykatharine on October 25, 2006 at 11:23 PM
You let me down.
Allahpundit on October 25, 2006 at 11:23 PM
Whatever, MKH. I’m not buying it… I like your writing.
DaveS on October 25, 2006 at 11:27 PM
That’s how I wrote every book report in high school. If the info isn’t on the cover, you don’t need it.
Coyote D. on October 25, 2006 at 11:27 PM
Consider yourself defied ;-) That is not an Onion parody (or Scrappleface, for that matter).
steveegg on October 25, 2006 at 11:36 PM
Nah, that’s real. A similar reply to the ‘facts’ was posted on Mr. Norris’s site.
Why do you hate Christians, AP? :P
OHNOES on October 25, 2006 at 11:48 PM
I don’t hate them.
Allahpundit on October 25, 2006 at 11:50 PM
Allah doesn’t hate me. I don’t think. Gets annoyed every now and again, but who wouldn’t?
It sounds pretty standard-issue “great opportunity to talk about Jesus” evangelical gig. Looks real. So it has to be either real or a parody that’s so close I can’t tell the difference.
Axe on October 25, 2006 at 11:55 PM
Wikipedia?…..
jjjen on October 26, 2006 at 12:10 AM
No, I don’t think it’s a parody.
Yeah, his writting is stiff, but that’s Chuck.
EFG on October 26, 2006 at 12:15 AM
Wikipedia repeatedly referred to “the author”, which is a somewhat uncertain term.
DaveS on October 26, 2006 at 12:16 AM
he needs to get a sense of humor.
jummy on October 26, 2006 at 12:23 AM
Ooooo … I do not want to be around when tiekitwist gets a whiff of this posting. Somehow Allah, you always manage to set her off.
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 12:29 AM
All I know is that when Conan used to show the random Walker Texas Ranger clips as a bit on his show, it was some of the funniest telivision you’ll ever see. Takes a lot of digging to find them online, but this one is funny but WAY over the top. I wish I could have shown some of the more lighthearted ones to warm you up.
RightWinged on October 26, 2006 at 12:51 AM
It’s entirely possible that Norris is trying to kill the meme through calculated lameness, but in the end I don’t think he understands that it has nothing to do with him in the first place. It’s about the Intarweb comedy hivemind, i.e. something is funny because 40 million other people think it’s funny.
spmat on October 26, 2006 at 1:02 AM
Chuck Norris was going to comment on this blog, but instead he decided to give Allah a roundhouse kick to the head.
stonemeister on October 26, 2006 at 1:16 AM
When Chuck Norris jumps into a river he doesn’t get wet. The river gets “Chuck Norris”.
Yep.
Bellicose Muse on October 26, 2006 at 1:42 AM
Those “facts” are a riot. Had my platoon in stitches for weeks on deployment! One guy could quote about two hours worth of material on demand. Pretty scary, actually… Anyhow, if this is how he wants to respond to them, more power to him. Odds are, he gets the joke but as a Christian feels a little uncomfortable about being attributed godlike powers. His writing IS a little stiff, though, isn’t it. Still, what do you expect from a man who can kill you by thinking it?
Favorite line: “Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet, water gets Chuck Norrised.”
Militant Bibliophile on October 26, 2006 at 1:49 AM
Actually, Chuck Norris is a devout Christian. I guess you could call him an Evangelical. There is only one self professed Evangelical at HotAir, so we may want to ask him.
But I’ll bet anybody here a lot of money that this is not an onion parody. Chuck wrote that and he meant it.
EFG on October 26, 2006 at 2:01 AM
It’s definitely the real deal… and so what if it is. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. More power to him. I defy Allah to tell him to his face that he’s an Onion parody. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t pushing himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. When the Boogeyman goes to bed every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris first.
So you go ahead Mr Pundit, you tell him hto his face that he and his faith are an Onion parody. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs, but I’m sure he’ll make time for you. And remember this…
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
SilverStar830 on October 26, 2006 at 2:43 AM
“Jack Bauer” is getting the same treatment.
Gleaned from around the ‘net….
When Jack Bauer brings a horse to water — THE HORSE DRINKS!
Jack Baur once told God that he “needed access.” The result was the Big Bang.
Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a “knock knock” joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
It’s no use crying over spilt milk… Unless that was Jack Bauer’s milk. Oh you are so screwed.
;^)
Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can’t believe that pussy went to the hospital first.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.
If you’re holding a gun to Jack Bauer’s head, don’t count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
georgej on October 26, 2006 at 3:52 AM
Hey, Allah, I don’t think you caught the tongue-in-cheek-ness of my last post. Didn’t require a serious answer.
OHNOES on October 26, 2006 at 3:56 AM
There’s a lot you don’t know about Chuck Norris.
Kevin M on October 26, 2006 at 4:51 AM
WTF??
Viper1 on October 26, 2006 at 4:53 AM
I am enjoying the comments under this thread!
georgej, your contribution of the list of Chuck Norrisisms above had me laughing in my chair while reading them! They were hilarious.
Kevin M, re: “There’s a lot you don’t know about Chuck Norris,” that video clip continued my laughter after I completed reading georgj’s list.
Thanks to all of you for such humor!
I remember a quote from the Chuck Norris movie “Invasion, USA,” in which he said to the bad guy “If I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.”
William
William2006 on October 26, 2006 at 7:17 AM
AP,
I’m going to stand up with some of the others in defiance, it’s real. I see it as another believer’s effort to share his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, something we are commanded to do when the opportunity arises. For those unsure, we are not commanded to behead those who disagree, we are to love them and pray for them anyway. I guess people would take Chuck Norris more seriously if he more like the rest of the wacks in Hollywood? Naw…
Centurion68 on October 26, 2006 at 7:19 AM
Ok, that was supposed to be “wackos”…
Centurion68 on October 26, 2006 at 7:20 AM
Hahaha… I feel like my dreams have come true now that Chuck Norris was mentioned on Hot Air. Walker Texas Ranger is pretty much the best show ever, and therefore Chuck Norris is pretty much the best man ever.
I’m so happy that I got to wake up to “Chuck Norris facts analyzed – by Chuck Norris” that I’m not even going to comment on how I think Allah has exhibited his patheticness yet again, this time by mocking someone’s faith.
Oops, I guess I just did. When it all comes down, yeah his writing is a little stiff, but it’s honest and even clever. He admits that he has just as much fun as the next person with Chuck Norris facts (and who wouldn’t?!) but at the same time he uses those facts cleverly to argue what he actually believes.
My new all-time favorite Chuck Norris fact?
Actually, Allah you’re probably lucky. Because Chuck Norris is a Christian, he’s most likely not going to come after you for making fun of him.
tiekitwist on October 26, 2006 at 7:28 AM
Chuck needs to accept the fact that he is, to the GenX, what John and Audie was to the Baby Boom generation. Give Chuck the credit he deserves. His life, movies and TV shows motivate millions of young people to excell.
Helloyawl on October 26, 2006 at 7:34 AM
Alright, so I commented a while ago but it doesn’t seem to have shown up… so I’m going to try to remember all the lost brilliance before I have to go to class.
Walker Texas Ranger is pretty much the best show ever, and therefore Chuck Norris is pretty much the best man ever. Waking up to Chuck Norris on Hot Air has got to be one of the happiest moments of my life, so for that I’m grateful. In fact, I’m so grateful that I’m not going to even comment on the patheticness you exhibit yet again, Allah, this time by mocking someone’s faith.
Oops, I guess I just did. Yeah, Norris’ writing is a little stiff and to some people it may seem silly to talk about Chuck Norris facts like this, but in a way I think it’s clever. I mean, he admits that he enjoys Chuck Norris facts just as much as the next person, but he also uses them as an opportunity to share his personal faith. The fact that you choose to litter this post so liberally with sarcasm and mockery honestly strikes me as odd. Recognizing the article as funny and interesting is one thing, but I think that you’ve stooped to an all time low.
Either way, like I said before, I am eternally grateful that Chuck Norris and Hot Air have become one… at least for the five minutes this topic will be popular.
And my new all time favorite Chuck Norris fact?
Hahaha… honestly, Allah you’re probably lucky. Since Chuck Norris is a Christian, he most likely won’t roundhouse kick you to the face for this. But I can’t make any guarantees.
tiekitwist on October 26, 2006 at 7:45 AM
She’s awake :)
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 7:50 AM
Thank you George, your list had me laughing so hard I was in tears! Mrs.737 thinks I’m friggin’ nuts!
Tony737 on October 26, 2006 at 8:34 AM
He didn’t win all those Accademy Awards and Golden Globes for nothing, you know.
Who could forget his tearjerker performance in …
uh..
Wait…
Black Adam on October 26, 2006 at 9:00 AM
More Ham Nation, less typing! *cracks whip*
Yeah the writing could have been better but I think Chuck was speaking from the heart. I’d glad to know he’s a christian brother.
Benaiah on October 26, 2006 at 9:02 AM
Was the roundhouse kick stuff also describing Jesus?
And, Allahpundit, why do you hate Christians, puppies, and apple pie?
frankj on October 26, 2006 at 9:11 AM
No, I’m mocking the way he goes about it. Using Chuck Norris facts as a launching pad to proselytize? Like Wikipedia says — it’s over the top.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:16 AM
Not a parody. The real deal.
The Onion knows better than to mock Chuck Norris.
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 9:17 AM
Why don’t you go do that on your own blog, pal?
Oh, wait a minute…
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 9:18 AM
And by the way, tie, if my “patheticness” is so frequent as to warrant a “yet again” from you and be measured as “an all time low,” feel free not to read anymore. The beauty of having Vent at the top of the page is that you can watch it without ever having to scroll down.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:21 AM
Eh, well, I think the roundhouse kick stuff. yeah, definitely a Jesus thing.
RiverCocytus on October 26, 2006 at 9:25 AM
Hmmmm…Chuck Norris versus George Washington.
I shudder to think.
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 9:28 AM
Totally.
I’m mad at myself for having forgotten that.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:31 AM
I’ve seen that one, Randy, and you’re right — it’s genius.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:32 AM
Let’s burn Allapundit at the stake for being a heathen who blasphemes Chuck Norris! Who’s with me!
frankj on October 26, 2006 at 9:32 AM
Just spare me the roundhouse kick to the face. That’s all I ask.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:38 AM
If God did not exist, it would be necessary for Chuck Norris to invent him.
Enrique on October 26, 2006 at 9:42 AM
Heheh.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 9:44 AM
If God did not exist, then who is breathing me?
Darwin?
William
William2006 on October 26, 2006 at 9:50 AM
Hey I just thought of a joke –
What do Darwin and God have in common?
They’re both dead.
Chuck Norris killed them.
Enrique on October 26, 2006 at 9:52 AM
“Walker” is a really corny show, BUT I was flippin’ thru the channels one time and came across a show about a little girl who appearently had been shot by a gangbanger. He was driving by and stopped in front of her She walks out into the street and whispers something in his ear, then walks away. The gangsta in the backseat says “What’d she say?” “She said …’I forgive you’.” Well, I hate to admit this but I was almost crying. Thank you Chuck, for bringing the Christian belief in forgiveness to a business (TV) run by atheists and liberals who don’t share our Christian/American values.
Tony737 on October 26, 2006 at 10:19 AM
I saw something similar to this on his website. He thinks they’re real funny but, typical of famous committed christians, he uses them to make a point about his Savior. It comes off as lame and stiff sometimes—not what you’d expect from a master thespian and orator like Chuck.
“Chuck Norris’ chest hair has chest hair.”
jdpaz on October 26, 2006 at 10:27 AM
OK- I gotta add one; To Chuck Norris brokeback mountain is the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard. Viva la Chuck!
Trooper on October 26, 2006 at 10:32 AM
Oooo … someone is getting sensative. Chuck Norris is great to post about — but the mocking thing is really pathetic. I’m not sure why, but sometimes I do feel sorry for you Allah after tiekitwist has let you have it with both barrels. I mean, it’s not like you don’t deserve it or anything. Don’t you ever get tired of all the posters that really suck up to you? At least she is honest regarding the way she feels.
Good thing she’s at class for the day or Michelle would have to come out roundhouse kicking in your defense;)
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 10:34 AM
Thanks for the early morning humor!
From http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/.
I remember that one too….awesome!
Sarcasm, just one more service I offer.
VikingGoneWild on October 26, 2006 at 10:37 AM
I think our resident deity can withstand tiekitwist’s bitching and moaning about the natur of his blogging.
You want to see a woman deliver both barrels into a target? It happens around here all the time. Her name is Michelle. tiekitwist doesn’t hold a candle to her.
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 10:44 AM
I’ll try to recover from the vicious verbal beating she’s given me. As for people “sucking up,” that suggests they’re trying to get something from me. But what? There are no platinum-member commenting privileges around here. If someone says something complimentary, I’m grateful, but there are no rewards I can bestow on them for having done so. There’s no need to insult people who like our site just because you’re grumpy about me goofing on Chuck.
And who’s really being oversensitive, wytammic? There are other religious readers in this thread — RightWinged, for starters — who can laugh at this stuff. If you and tie can’t, fine. But like I said to her, if you think I deserve it so much, why even read HA? There are too many other great blogs out there to waste your time on one you don’t like.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 10:45 AM
Apparently I’m the last one on Earth to learn the true facts about Norris.
I’m sitting here laughing so hard I’m crying. “Chuck Norris CAN divide by 0.” Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
As for his response, well, this’ll be unpopular with some, but I’m saying it anyway:
Do you know why most people hate liberals? It’s not actually their beliefs about the role of government; it’s their tone and their attitude. It’s not just what they say but how they say it. It’s that smug, self-righteous, we-know-what’s-best-for-you crap that makes liberals unbearable.
Know what some people hate about some Christians? The exact same thing.
I respect Norris’ comments. I actually agree with Norris’ comments. But when we Christians sound like that … well, when you wonder how anyone can listen to the secular Left, THAT is why.
There are ways to “witness” and preach the Gospel WITHOUT sounding like Norris does in his statement. Ways that are far, far more effective. More effective in electoral politics, and much more effective in saving souls.
Playing right into Rosie O’Donnell-created stereotypes is not helping our cause.
I just wish my fellow Christians would figure this out.
Now flame away – but I suspect the flames will prove my point.
“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.”
Ba ha ha ha ha ha
Professor Blather on October 26, 2006 at 10:47 AM
Ah, see? You’re “sucking up.” I’m immediately elevating you to Megacommenter status, which authorizes you to ban commenters you don’t like, phone me at three in the morning, and attend the annual HA family brunch at the Malkin ranch in May.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Allah and whtammic? Don’t make me stop the car!
BacaDog on October 26, 2006 at 10:52 AM
I’m not sure myself what the benefit is — besides hopefully never being banned? Possibly to be “popular and cool” on HotAir? Maybe we should ask Pablo?
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 10:53 AM
There’s a Malkin ranch?
Niiiiiice.
Professor Blather on October 26, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Sweet! I’ll put you on speed dial.
But really, what are the odds that a guy who goes by “Allah” would take an occasional crack at the religious?
Some people have no sense of humor. God, on the other hand, is a comedian par excellence.
Lighten up, kids.
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 10:58 AM
Two words: Malkin Ranch.
Pablo on October 26, 2006 at 10:59 AM
To be popular and cool … on a blog?
You and tie don’t “suck up” and you haven’t been banned. On the contrary, you’re frequently insulting.
Is that what it means not to “suck up”? Insulting me?
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 11:00 AM
People suck up to Allah because he’s funny and we all want to be friends with the funny guy at the blog we like. It’s the psychological need for approval from peers. Duh.
I like you, Allah. Tell me you like me. PLEASE, JUST SAY IT!!!!
(insert something about Chuck Norris here)
Enrique on October 26, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Good point. Oddly enough, the 8,000 posts I’ve written criticizing Muslims haven’t drawn much fire. But teasing Chuck Norris for trying to sell Christianity through Chuck Norris facts? Beyond the pale.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Here’s another one of those evil evangelical Christians who posts.
One who has just discovered that he is a Chuck Norris fan.
What Mr. Norris has stated is simply awesome stuff.
It is interesting to see the reactions from those with hardened hearts.
But better to be cold or hot than lukewarm, AP.
There is hope.
.
The Machine on October 26, 2006 at 11:02 AM
No, AP has gone over the line of good taste once before but I don’t think he did it here. I also don’t believe he did it the first time intentionally.
The way this thing was written it deserved to be poked fun at. I’m sure Chuck could have done a better job and not made it sound so cheesy.
Benaiah on October 26, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
msipes on October 26, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Not trying to “insult” you, Allah. We’d better knock this crap off before BacaDog stops this car. I do find your posts that seem to insult Christianity — not necessarily Chuck, to be offensive. As stated throughout this thread, the Chuck Norris facts are funny, but you questioning whether or not it is an onion parady isn’t that funny. I’m not sure why when people disagree with you or don’t appreciate you like you so richly deserve, you point them in other blog directions. I think it’s okay to not agree with you 100% of the time on certain issues, and still read your postings.
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Okay okay…last one:
Chuck Norris wins Connect Four in three moves.
msipes on October 26, 2006 at 11:20 AM
I don’t. I only do it when, as in tie’s comment, it sounds like they’re offended frequently. In that case, why annoy yourself by reading the site?
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 11:20 AM
I’m a Christian and his response sounds like an Onion parody to me, too. Heh. Pretty amusing response, and while extremely corny, cool to know Chuck is a Christian nonetheless. Thanks for the post Allah. :)
CorinthianJest on October 26, 2006 at 11:24 AM
I better not answer for tiekitwist. But if we never read things that annoyed us — there wouldn’t be much posting period going on here at HotAir, right? I mean, lots of liberal stuff is annoying (not saying you are liberal — promise) and we read it, you post on it sometimes …. that’s just what makes the blogosphere go ’round.
wytammic on October 26, 2006 at 11:25 AM
The real question is…
Where is Jack Bauer in all of this???
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk. :
Kai on October 26, 2006 at 11:31 AM
Yes but then Chuck Norris was never someone’s girlfriend in a chinese prison.
Benaiah on October 26, 2006 at 11:40 AM
Professor Blather,
You wrote
I would point out what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:22 “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” Who are you or I to tell another believer how they should witness or not witness? Ok, except for the lopping off of heads thing, that’s a definite no-no. But, if he chooses a method that is not against God’s word, what’s the problem? He is proclaiming his Lord and Savior in the best way he knows how, can that really be wrong?
As for the cult reference AP, although I do take offense at being labeled as a cult, it really isn’t me you are insulting. You will have someone far greater to deal with on that one.
Centurion68 on October 26, 2006 at 11:53 AM
Oh for god’s sake. That was a reference to his status as a cult icon. That’s what the Chuck Norris facts are all about.
Allahpundit on October 26, 2006 at 11:54 AM
I rest my case.
Professor Blather on October 26, 2006 at 11:58 AM
I here to be offended by people who interrupt other people being offended to be offended. It’s time something was done about them.
(thud)
Enrique on October 26, 2006 at 12:02 PM
Professor Blather:
But it doesn’t matter. Smugness (is too a word) isn’t related to anything. Smug Jews, smug athiests … smug dogs! Ok, maybe not dogs.
I’m not trying to argue with everything you said Prof; you made some good points. It’s just that I don’t think Chuck needs correcting; he is doing what he wants, and there is nothing wrong with it, even if it bugs someone or doesn’t line up with someone else’s ‘cool’ (and ditto AP, and ditto you and me both). I wish we could all cut each other more slack. Even … even … Pablo.
heh. That reads like ‘can’t we all just get along?’ But I meant less than that. I guess it’s in there.
And now, having fully and completely convicted myself with my own words, I’m off to consume mass quantities.
Axe on October 26, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Two tries, but I got it. Brilliant! Where’s Entelechy?
Axe on October 26, 2006 at 12:07 PM
Hey, kids? I’m glad you are all having fun with this, but look at the time. It’s posting time for AP.
And if you guys distract AP from posting, and I miss my morning news fix,…my wrath will be terrible to behold.
EFG on October 26, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Axe:
Hey, I get your point. And I don’t have any interest in correcting Norris. (Who needs a gratuitous roundhouse to the head?) Besides, like I said, I agree with him.
But it’s the way he said it. It is indeed the “smugness.”
There’s nothing wrong with it, of course. Not a word.
But Christians shouldn’t be surprised when that tone and attitude doesn’t work. When it turns people off. When it pushes people AWAY from Christianity. And away from conservatism.
I only care about one thing: what actually *WORKS*. Both theologically and politically.
At the very least … if Christians insist on sounding like that, they shouldn’t be surprised when people wonder if it’s a parody … or when folks like Allah gently mock it.
That’s my only point. Christians can sound however they like. But they might at least pause and consider whether their tactics are helping their cause.
And God forbid the Loony Left ever figures this out. If they stopped with their own self-parodies, they might actually win elections.
Professor Blather on October 26, 2006 at 12:21 PM
Chuck Norris….do you know what’s odd? This is a man who neither you nor anyone you know ever actually watches on TV, yet he still goes on….It’s like he’s on cable re-runs without ever having a program that was current, which wouldn’t seem possible.
Oh well, so he’s a Christian. Good to know…..
honora on October 26, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Stipulated :)
Can’t stop laughing at this:
Axe on October 26, 2006 at 12:28 PM
I can’t stop laughing!
msipes on October 26, 2006 at 12:32 PM
AP,
I stand corrected. My humblest of apologies for mis-interpreting the cult comment.
PB,
You rest what case?
Centurion68 on October 26, 2006 at 12:51 PM
How about a little play on his Christianity and humor?
“Chuck Norris has never had to turn the other cheek when struck. One cheek was enough to wipe out his opponent.”
Faith1 on October 26, 2006 at 12:58 PM
I got my black belt studying Karate under Chuck Norris and the Alegria brothers in the late sixties, early seventies. He’s good people. Very short, I was taller then him at 13.
Locrian on October 26, 2006 at 1:25 PM
I’m a Christian, and I’ve got to say to those who thinks he sounds silly: look at the angles. If he were to not sound silly, he would have watered down the message. As a Christian, it is his duty to evangelize, and he is capitalizing on his cult status (no pun intended) to reach people with the Good News. Being frank and real about matters of eternal damnation or salvation is fairly realistic in my opinion. If he had made an attempt to sound more relevant or friendly, he would’ve come across as a weak Christian, and if he’s not strong in his faith, why should you be?
JamesVersusEveryone on October 26, 2006 at 1:56 PM
Chuck Norris is so humble, he lets Jesus take all the credit.
Iblis on October 26, 2006 at 2:02 PM
Allah,
Wikipedia? Come on.
This is on worldnetdaily a Christian website. It’s a well written piece and I’m glad he wrote it.
–green
greenpiece on October 26, 2006 at 2:11 PM
I wish I had something like that to tell. You have trained with the mighty Chuck Norris and lived? Need to demand more respect around this thread :)
That’s gently and smartly excellent, Iblis!
Sorry for the over-posting; time was short. See you guys after I make the rent.
Axe on October 26, 2006 at 2:16 PM
Didn’t Bruce Lee kick Chuck Norris’s ass?
Mike Antonucci on October 26, 2006 at 2:40 PM
Chuck’s got nothing on Kareem in terms of kung-fu.
Readymade on October 26, 2006 at 2:53 PM
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