Chuck Norris facts analyzed — by Chuck Norris
posted at 11:04 pm on October 25, 2006 by Allahpundit
And used as a jumping-off point to praise Jesus!
Roundhouse kick to Satan’s face:
While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let’s face it, most “Chuck Norris Facts” describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They’re describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It’s not me…
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” It’s funny. It’s cute. But here’s what I really think about the theory of evolution: It’s not real. It is not the way we got here…
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.”
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
“His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.”
I defy you to tell me this isn’t an Onion parody.
Update: Wikipedia’s suspicious, too.