O.J. to confess to murder — hypothetically
posted at 1:29 am on October 20, 2006 by Allahpundit
I’m a man with a broken heart. I need comfort food. And the blog equivalent of comfort food is hardcore tabloid news stories.
You want the gay scandinavian penguins? You got the gay scandinavian penguins.
You want the most extreme, orgiastic, cannibalistic religion in the world? You got it, courtesy of ace war reporter Michael Yon.
You want some French guy boasting to Times readers how he was conceived in a threesome, and how his mother hit double digits in abortions? Say no more, my friends.
Or do you want the Juice pinching a loaf on his wife’s grave by publishing a hypothetical confession to her murder for $3.5 mil?
In the book, “he describes how he grabbed a knife from a man who accompanied him to Nicole’s home — and moments later found himself covered in blood and looking down on the bodies of Nicole and Ron,” said the source…
“O.J. prefaces these key pages by almost half-heartedly claiming this part of the book is hypothetical,” said the source. “But I don’t think anyone is going to be convinced of that.”
Because of “double jeopardy” laws, legal experts say O.J.’s confession will not likely lead to any legal trouble for him.
The book’s working title is “If I Did It.”
He’s winking at us, in other words. About double murder.
He should inscribe the copies like this:
I didn’t do it! Best, Juice
I sure hope Fred Goldman doesn’t show up at one of the book signings with a 12-gauge shotgun.
Well, actually, I do hope that. Hypothetically.
Blowback
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He knows how the killers did it, he is trying to get into their mindset.
That is the first thing he must do if he wishes to find the killers.
Keljeck on October 20, 2006 at 1:32 AM
OJ case is of those bizzare cases where theories seem to comfort everybody. Confessing will not change anything. His daughter once leaked to the press that he confessed about the incident. Well, he will keep feeding us with his O.J juice. Those who have drank it don’t what to make of him. The title itelf is smymapthetic. It should read , “I think I did it.”
Ouabam on October 20, 2006 at 1:38 AM
The Goldmans won a multi-million dollar judgement against him. Wouldn’t the proceeds from this book be subject to that judgement?
infidel4life on October 20, 2006 at 1:39 AM
Hypothetically…
infidel4life on October 20, 2006 at 1:39 AM
He was acquitted! Allah, you only go after him and assume he’s guilty because he’s black. He’s going to find the real killers on a golf course in Florida, you just wait!
RightWinged on October 20, 2006 at 1:45 AM
Who cares whether he is black? The Civil rights movement is over. “I’m black” protection clause is history.
Ouabam on October 20, 2006 at 1:56 AM
We desperately need a South Park thread. If not to discuss double standards in child molestation between sexes and political parties, then to at least spread the video of a Debra Lafave based character splatting alone.
Savage on October 20, 2006 at 1:57 AM
Possible title: “Debra does Cartman”
infidel4life on October 20, 2006 at 2:11 AM
Actually, she did Ike, Kyle’s kindergartener brother.
Savage on October 20, 2006 at 2:41 AM
Just incase there was any confusion, I was being sarcastic earlier. Newbies may have trouble adjusting to me, I set off even regulars a few nights ago when I didn’t label my sarcasm as such (though my intention was to deliberately stir the pot).
RightWinged on October 20, 2006 at 2:46 AM
Savage & Infidel, I thought I was going to pee my pants at that last night. Cartman as the Bounty Hunter was sooooo funny too. The end was excellent but LaFave would probably take that story to be a compliment of her.
Catie96706 on October 20, 2006 at 2:54 AM
When pondering things like this I wonder if I really gave up drugs, because it just seems too wrong to be true.
Scotsman on October 20, 2006 at 2:54 AM
Well, I didn’t mean top strike a nerve. I generally hate racial argument. It is my first day. I will learn the right methods. BTW, let’s sing kumbaya. Join me.
Ouabam on October 20, 2006 at 3:36 AM
OJ better watch out. They didn’t get Martha Stewart for the crime she supposedly committed. . . but they did get her for lying to investigators.
Methinks there are heap many lateral laws that he can be convicted of. That is if he wasn’t such a hot button issue.
- The Cat
MirCat on October 20, 2006 at 4:38 AM
Ok. This is officially the most screwed up thing I’ve ever seen.
More than the eating-dead-penis link, more than gay penguins, more than the sum total of Bill Clinton’s trailer-park tragedy. –Wait, there is still Cindy Sheehan planting her uterus. –Alright, but even if it isn’t the worst, it’s up there.
Alright. You can walk around smiling, and no one can touch you, even when everybody knows you killed two people, because you told everyone you did, in America.
I guess I adapt or find a comfortable bell tower.
I do like bell towers.
Axe on October 20, 2006 at 4:42 AM
The only link I clicked on was the homo penguins thing. After reading that article, I have to say: AP, I hope all of your teams win at everything they do. Except at clean living, of course, because reporting on the sordid affairs of sports stars is half of what keeps the MSM afloat (treason is the other half).
Wolfman on October 20, 2006 at 5:48 AM
I lost 10 pounds reading these articles.
Coronagold on October 20, 2006 at 7:13 AM
I wouldn’t bat an eye if OJ got squashed by a bus or was murdered or just died, literally speaking.
SouthernGent on October 20, 2006 at 8:16 AM
So someone can kill HIM, hypothetically. The other story with the skull, scared the crud out of me.
americanpundit on October 20, 2006 at 8:36 AM
I got my money on Fred Goldman. Hell if he doesnt have a shotgun he can borrow mine.
Viper1 on October 20, 2006 at 8:44 AM
He’s still got a lot of money to pay off to the Goldmans… my prediction:
OJ will come out with a celebrity porn tape series ala Screech, with the first edition being called “The Real Killer Was That Dirty Sanchez,” featuring OJ hot on the trail of TRK™ in Tijuana,” followed by “The Case of the Steaming Cleveland,” with him in hot pursuit in Cleveland… and so on. He should be able to pay off the $30 mill in no time flat, and soon will be able to afford to put on a touring ice-skating dramatic re-enactment of the Nicole/Goldman murders themselves… called, “So I Iced the Bitch.”
If there’s a Hell, OJ so has a VIP reservation.
wordwarp on October 20, 2006 at 9:08 AM
I always wondered what it would take to throw my principles out the window.
Now I’m suddenly in favor of book banning. And book burning. And book-shooting-with-a-12-gauge.
MamaAJ on October 20, 2006 at 9:36 AM
It is almost laughable until you see what this animal did. Warning: Graphic crime scene images.
Valiant on October 20, 2006 at 10:18 AM
This is why I should be given complete control of the world. This guy would be dealt with swiftly, I’m thinking I’d make him be the guy who cleans the men’s rooms at bus stations. Forever.
I do like the gay penguins though. Flamingos, well how obvious was that?? Penguins are non-conformists in lots of ways–what’s that not flying all about???
honora on October 20, 2006 at 10:19 AM
Gay penguins…..lol….makes Antarctica quite a hot spot.
Left_Behind on October 20, 2006 at 10:31 AM
Dudes: even a scumbag like OJ doesn’t deserved to be lynched. We can’t pretend to be conservatives and hypothetically dream about him coming to an end which thwarts the legal system — even if it serves our Old Testament views of “justice”.
I know, I know: what about Nicole and Ron? Didn’t they come to an end which thwarts the legal system? Sure they did — but they weren’t the only ones in California in 1994 who came to a tragic end. And OJ wasn’t the only one who got away with murder. That may or may not mean that the legal system needs some work, but it certainly doesn’t mean that we resort to frontier justice until things are perfect as we would see it.
OJ’s book, apparently, is a complete travesty. OJ himself ought to be shunned by anyone with a conscience until he does more than “hypothetically” confess — “shunning” being a social and moral option in which the one shunned has an object lesson in what shame ought to mean. That doesn’t give us the right-of-way to make jokes which are themselves inciting murder.
What if OJ came to town and everyone refused to do business with him? What if waitresses refused to serve him? What if cabbies refused to pick him up? What if cashiers wouldn’t take his money or his plastic? What if golf courses refused to allow him to play? I think he’d prefer to go out in a shotgun blast rather than to die the death of a shunned begger who suddenly found himself at the mercy of those outraged by his petulance.
What do you think?
centuri0n on October 20, 2006 at 10:38 AM
What if OJ came to town and everyone refused to do business with him? Lawsuit What if waitresses refused to serve him? Lawsuit What if cabbies refused to pick him up? LawsuitWhat if cashiers wouldn’t take his money or his plastic? Lawsuit What if golf courses refused to allow him to play? Lawsuit I think he’d prefer to go out in a shotgun blast rather than to die the death of a shunned begger who suddenly found himself at the mercy of those outraged by his petulance.
What do you think?
centuri0n on October 20, 2006 at 10:38 AM
I think that the ACLU/NAACP/Rainbow Coalition….please pick one, would be all over helping poor O.J. While I prefer the justice system to work…I cannot help but feel the frustration of those who have had such an agregious failure shoved in their face. Personally I would’nt pee on him if he was on fire.
Thats what I think.
Suburbandad on October 20, 2006 at 10:52 AM
How do you do that box quote thing? I am obviously a newbie.
Suburbandad on October 20, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Thank you for using the term “pinching a loaf”. Great stuff.
Cary on October 20, 2006 at 11:25 AM
Listen white people get over OJ already.
I recently debated the bias of omission. Is it biased to say that their is civil strife in Iraq? No. Is it biased to leave out the fact that we have turned two Iraqi provinces over to Iraqi’s when reporting on Iraq? Yes. In the same line of thought is it biased to never mention why O.J. was found innocent? Yes. His aquittal was I’d say at least 80-90% because of the Rodney King verdict. I really tire of the harping on O.J.. He did it hes guilty! No kidding Sherlock. But why did he get off scott free (Well not “scott free” seeing as the bereaved families got their pound of flesh in civil court)Johnny Cochran genius that he was picked a jury that would have convicted Mark Fuhrman.
Please, please, please stop being so self righteous. Is O.J. guilty, yes, now start blaming the justice system that let Rodney King get the crap kicked out of him.
Theworldisnotenough on October 20, 2006 at 11:43 AM
1) Select the text you want to “quote” with your mouse/cursor.
2) Look at the top of the comment screen where you type your comments. You will see several buttons. One will say “quote”
3) Click on that button.
4) Continue on with your life in what ever way you see fit.
EFG on October 20, 2006 at 12:06 PM
Interesting point. I’m sure this will be of comfort to Ron Goldman and family.
I suppose it is all about Karma. We gotta balance the scales.
Hypothetically, do you think since I just got the crap kicked out of me by someone, it would be cool if I kicked the crap out of you? As you picked yourself up off the sidewalk, would you think to yourself, “I really need to get over this”?
Probably not.
The point of all of this is, I don’t think we want to have justice based off of some sort of racial “tit for tat.”
EFG on October 20, 2006 at 12:14 PM
That wasn’t King getting the crap kicked out of him. That was just LAPD “gettin’ physical.”
a4g on October 20, 2006 at 12:21 PM
[mirror]
Jim Treacher on October 20, 2006 at 12:30 PM
Agree, but I think it’s interesting to think about what the influence of the LAPD reputation (established well before King) was on a mostly minority jury.
I grew up in a nice well to do white suburban neighborhood where the police were your friends. I’m guessing a lot of the OJ jury had a much different experience with the police and were therefore primed to accept the notion that OJ was somehow framed. And then, on cue, comes that moron Furman.
Two wrongs don’t make a right of course, just interesting to think about the context. Then there’s that whole athletes as gods thing to consider. Oh well, another day!!!
honora on October 20, 2006 at 12:39 PM
Criminally, it doesn’t matter what he admits – he’s already been acquitted. He could shout it from the top of the Empire State building, and nobody could touch him.
Private suits, however, are another matter.
mojo on October 20, 2006 at 12:56 PM
“My name is O.J. Simpson, and I
stabbedapprove this message.Ugly on October 20, 2006 at 1:27 PM
(end quote)
/oops
Ugly on October 20, 2006 at 1:28 PM
I knew my comment would spark some responses.
Listen folks I’m not interested in a tit for tat merely explaining why O.J. was aquitted.
The funny thing about justice is that it is in no way impartial. Those 12 people meeted out the justice that they saw fit. Had the cops that beat Rodney King been punished O.J. would be in jail, period. If you don’t believe me ask a black person.
So when a conservative radio program or blog ring the “hey lets rip on the murderer O.J. bell” remember WHY he’s free.
Theworldisnotenough on October 20, 2006 at 1:54 PM
HAHAHA.
I like my racism with more soy sauce, for future reference.
Ugly on October 20, 2006 at 2:00 PM
Isn’t it true that OJ hasn’t paid one dime of the civil suit award given to Goldman’s family? If so, shouldn’t there be some legal repercussion for that? I heard somewhere that a judge ruled money earned from his book could not be garnished to pay the settlement because that would be too much like “indentured servitude.”
Which makes me wonder, as an aside, if your wages are taken to pay off back taxes, does that make you an indentured servant to the government?? We’re closer to the gulags than we think!
NTWR on October 20, 2006 at 2:01 PM
Okay. I’ll ask one. Where do “Football” Williams and Reginald Denny fit into this whole justice thing? How many attempted/successful murders do black people get for each beating? Is it written down somewhere or do we white folks have to ask each time?
John on October 20, 2006 at 2:08 PM
Does it peeve nayone else that Scandinavia is in the northern hemisphere–exclusively–and penguins are from the southern hemisphere–exclusively–so there can be no such thing as Scandinavian penguins, gay or otherwise.
And couldn’t the penguins not be gay, but merely incredibly stupid?
urbancenturion on October 20, 2006 at 4:11 PM
Did someone order a whambulance? If you do not like the answer then too bad. The reason he got off is the reason he got off. Trying to extrapolate O.J.’s aquittal to all subsequent trials is stupid and a red herring. I have in no way advocated Tookie Williams being pardoned, heck I’d pull the switch.
If you really want the answer, if you really have the balls to do it, ask a black person. And make sure you catch all the nuances of their facial expressions, that will tell you as much as their answer will. Black people know O.J. is guilty, and they care as much about his guilt as white people feel about the LAPD’s guilt. *shrug* No one says it is fair, no one says it is right but it is what it is…
Theworldisnotenough on October 20, 2006 at 4:17 PM
The hypocrisy. I’m betting you were completely outraged when the cops that beat Rodney King were aquitted huh?
Theworldisnotenough on October 20, 2006 at 4:21 PM
Maybe the cops were acquitted because they acted correctly. My dad was an NYPD Asst. Chief, and I’m aware of the tremendous amount of BS that arises from taking police actions out of context and presenting them to an uninformed public.
Axe, if you are looking into bell towers, may I suggest Steely Dan’s “Don’t Take Me Alive” as your theme song?
mikeyboss on October 20, 2006 at 5:23 PM
So I guess OJ is sort of Emmett Till in reverse, i.e. the guilty go free cause they’re the same race as the jury. That’s progress?
Sorry, but I have a higher opinion of “most black people” than you do. I think most people of every race probably wish OJ was in prison for life for his crimes.
John on October 20, 2006 at 7:40 PM
Rodney King was and IS a dirtbag, and the aquittal bothered me not in the least.
Hypocrisy? I suppose you say that because you assume I am white, and therefor ill-qualified to have an opinion on matters of racism. Well.. I am indeed white, but my Nubian Princess of a girlfriend is not and would strongly disagree with you. She curses both King and Simpson…
Now. Is she also hypocritical? Or simply a sell-out?
Ugly on October 20, 2006 at 8:38 PM
Wasn’t everyone a bit surprised that with all the whaling away at Rodney King, with all those cops, he still got up and lived? Thought the guy was truly dead or dying. No, not at all. He was up and about, plugging along like the engergizer bunny with a black eye, and once free, went out and got back into trouble. He’s still alive, today too. Therefore, the video gave the impression of something worse than it really was. The cops involved had no intention of killing him, didn’t want to kill him, and in fact didn’t kill him.
Meanwhile, Nicole and Ron Goldman are dead , dead, dead.
naliaka on October 21, 2006 at 10:26 AM
THIS FARCE JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER, AND BETTER.
NOW THIS GUY IS GETTING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO TELL US SOMETHING WE HAVE ALL, ALREADY KNOWN, FOR ALL THESE YEARS?
Dollydog on October 21, 2006 at 11:23 AM
I was waiting for “Rodney King was and IS a dirtbag” the thought process is sooooo predictable. Good white cop beats dirt bag therefore making it justified and within the limits of the law. See this goes right to my arguement. Those cops were guilty as sin, but how does a jury find persons so guilty, innocent? You have to soothe the their conscience, Rodney King career criminal, decorated cops, he lead them on a chase etc. This all allows an all white jury to find all white, guilty as hell, defendants, innnocent. What does it take for an all black jury to find a guilty as sin black defendant innnocent? You have to grease their morals a little bit. “The glove don’t fit you must acquit” (An enormous failure of the prosecution which I never hear mentioned when people bang the OJ drum.) Mark Fuhrman etc. That was all it took for an all black jury to find a black defendant innocent. One of the jurors was interviewed shortly after the trial second guessing herself. She knew but… That is my point. We are talking about two open and shut cases, decided by the same pool of jurors. The effect of one trial on another can not be ignored.
Hypocrisy, hypocrisy because instead of actually debating you reach for the race card. I’m racist for acknowlodging what Black America knows, and telling white people about it?How is it racism to acknolegde the effects of one trial on the other? Hypocrisy because a miscarriage of justice that exonerates white cops is COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN. And not just forgotten but I sense from the “Rodney King was and IS a dirtbag, and the aquittal bothered me not in the least” comment, but justifed. Then a miscarriage of justice that exonerates a black man IS STILL BEING HARPED ON OVER A DECADE LATER. *Waitng for moral equivocation, but O.J killed her they only beat King*
What does your girlfriend cursing Simpson and King have to do with this? Simpson is the acused, King was the victim? Oh wait they are both black… I am comparing and contrasting the two trials and telling White America to get over it. 10 years later and I still gotta hear this O.J. crap? Just admit that you do not want to hear what I am saying. Just admit that Rodney King is a long forgotten issue that you never cared about in the first place. What you do not want to face is why…
Theworldisnotenough on October 21, 2006 at 2:31 PM
Dang I had a really nice post but the board ate it… Oh well I’m not retyping it.
“Now. Is she also hypocritical? Or simply a sell-out?”
That is soooo amatuer. I’m so conservative I baffle most white people. I’m the one that gets called sell out. I’m the one that gets called “white”. I’m the one that points the finger at black people when black liberals start carping about education. I’m the one that wants Affirmative Action done away with. I’m the one that has to explain the Civil Rights Voting Act did not give black people the right to vote (and by the way has been laughed at when I told a college educated black man that the first black representatives were elected during the reconstruction era)When I mention race rest assured it is legitimate.
Theworldisnotenough on October 21, 2006 at 2:40 PM
Theworld,
What makes you so sure the police were guilty of any wrongdoing in the arrest of Rodney King?
mikeyboss on October 21, 2006 at 3:24 PM
So I guess OJ is sort of Emmett Till in reverse, i.e. the guilty go free cause they’re the same race as the jury. That’s progress?
Sorry, but I have a higher opinion of “most black people” than you do. I think most people of every race probably wish OJ was in prison for life for his crimes.
John on October 20, 2006 at 7:40 PM
1)Don’t be disingenous. The O.J. trial happened in the same city, with the same pool of potential jurors as the King case, and on opposite ends or the racial spectrum. Those are differences worth noting. You brought Emmit Till into the discussion not me, I am being very specific.
2)Go ask a black person over the age of 50 and see what they say.
Theworldisnotenough on October 21, 2006 at 3:24 PM
Theworldisnotenough:
You pulled the race card.
Nonetheless…
A few simple questions (YOUR opinion, please).
1.) Was R King Guilty?
2.) Was OJ Simpson Guilty?
3.) How many more black people do I need to ask?
4.) What was so amateur about my statement?
Ugly on October 22, 2006 at 4:52 AM