Justin Timberlake’s producer: Our music will make you feel gay
posted at 10:15 pm on October 14, 2006 by Allahpundit
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Two things I always look for in a pop song: a strong bassline and homosexual engineering.
Some people listen to a song like ‘SexyBack’ and think, am I queer? Am I funny? If you are that way, you’re just that way. But if you’re a masculine man, embrace it. Have a glass of wine, put the record on and invite your girl over to get sexy.
Embrace your gayness — by having sex with your girlfriend.
If Mark Foley had followed that logic, we might have held the House next month.
No song has ever made me feel gay, but many songs have made me feel as though they’re gay. “I’m Too Sexy,” “Tainted Love,” and of course the entire Wham! catalog.
Any man who can make it through “Careless Whisper” without questioning his sexuality isn’t going to be turned by “SexyBack.”
Now that I think about it, pretty much any danceable pop track recorded by a British male since, say, 1980 would qualify.
Incidentally, do we know any prominent male bloggers on record as liking “SexyBack”?
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Your music turned me gay! I’M GONNA SUE!!!
Tony737 on October 14, 2006 at 10:30 PM
Actually, you can make ‘Rock Me Amadeus’ in to a really filthy gay song if you change a couple of words and strategically add an ‘in the’ to the chorus. My ex girlfriend hated when that song came on….
austinnelly on October 14, 2006 at 10:43 PM
Reading this while listening to the Pet Shop Boys, I immediately conceded your point.
Kralizec on October 14, 2006 at 11:25 PM
I give it a 62, Dick.
It’s got a nice dance and I can beat to it!
harrison on October 14, 2006 at 11:25 PM
…Hollyweird
SilverStar830 on October 14, 2006 at 11:28 PM
There is a word for men who are “distracted” by music while having sex with those Cameron and Britney.
It’s called gay. Really freakin’ gay.
EFG on October 14, 2006 at 11:39 PM
Baby, left a little–I can’t see FNC–
Axe on October 14, 2006 at 11:47 PM
I mean seriously! Who in their right mind would try to peddle that line to their girl? “I’m sorry babe, I just can’t go through with it right now, cuz I’m really just distracted by/paying attention to the chords in that background music.”
No way! I mean, maybe, if you are really drunk, or you have some really rough work project that is stressing you out, you might be able to get a one time pass. But on a continuous basis? Forget it!
I mean, this seems to me to be about as plausable of an excuse as Brad Pitt and his “I can’t marry you Angeline. Not while gays can’t marry. Once all our gay brothers and sisters are free to marry, then I’ll tie the knot with you. But until then, it just wouldn’t be right.”
And what’s funny is that Angeline seems to buy it. Or at least feels she can’t argue that publically, without seeming to be insensitive to the marriage plight of gays everywhere.
Seriously, as a straight guy, when I hear these lines that Brad and Justin throw out, I want to laugh my ass off.
Do women really buy these lines?
EFG on October 14, 2006 at 11:48 PM
EFG, the same quote, but with different emphasis:
Axe on October 14, 2006 at 11:50 PM
Maybe they mean gay as in happy.
Tony737 on October 14, 2006 at 11:55 PM
I don’t like his music, but I’ve always maintained that Timberlake has talent. However I don’t think his talent extends in to the arena of making one gay. The only activity that can take credit for that, apparently, would be initiation in to the Catholic priesthood. (rimshot)
Seriously though:
Okay, he’s a good singer, but he ain’t Barry White. Get real.
RightWinged on October 15, 2006 at 12:09 AM
Dude! Really?
I gave up on finding any decent music during the latter part of the 80’s, but Enya, and Dido caught my attention.
DannoJyd on October 15, 2006 at 12:54 AM
This is news?? I thought it was common knowledge.
thirteen28 on October 15, 2006 at 1:53 AM
Keith Olbermann
Entelechy on October 15, 2006 at 2:18 AM
Heh. Good one, Entelechy.
EFG on October 15, 2006 at 2:27 AM
I question the gayness.
Bellicose Muse on October 15, 2006 at 6:49 AM
There are products and there are artists. Sometimes they are one and she same, and that’s cool, but most of the time they’re not. Timberlake is all product and no artist (what I can hear anyway). Products usually feel the need to talk up the “cred” to give the impression that something is beneath the surface. I guess enough people fall for it to keep them in business a while.
I’d be ashamed of my manhood if I gave Cameron Diaz THAT lame excuse. Geez!
Halley on October 15, 2006 at 6:55 AM
These guys would strongly disagree with you. Well, maybe not Bez, but the rest of them would.
Sean M. on October 15, 2006 at 7:49 AM
I cleaned my keyboard last night & I think that’s what stopped me from spitting coffee on it just now. The term ‘homosexual engineering’ is a link & thus stood out in blue font from the black. It really punched your line & my esophagus.
Disco still sucks.
(If this shows up twice, please delete second post. Something funky going on with the Submit Comment button.)
(WTF? Third time’s a charm?)
Coronagold on October 15, 2006 at 8:42 AM
By choice, I ignored virtually all types of music that was made in the 1980s. I instead listened to a lot of jazz back then. I didn’t even own a U2 record until Achtung, Baby, and that was in 1991.
However, I do list Pet Shop Boys as one of my guilty pleasures. That’s as gay as I’ll get.
Maybe. . .
Gottafang on October 15, 2006 at 12:52 PM
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