Back on the market: Whitney files for divorce from Bobby Brown
posted at 10:17 pm on September 13, 2006 by Allahpundit
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That’s the bad news. The good news? Osama won’t have to have him killed now. One door closes, another one opens. Cycle of life, my friends.
I hope they’ll be as happy as Bethany, Mary K, KP, and I are in my imagination.
Whitney’s, um, put on a little weight since detox.
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Allah,
Did you use Star Jones’ wedding pic for the cut and paste?
That’s a tough call for Osama…72 virgins or a post-Bobby Whitney?
Hmm…W.W.M.D.
Rosetta on September 13, 2006 at 10:24 PM
I hope this is the start of Whitney getting her life back together. Here is a recent photo of her.
SisterToldjah on September 13, 2006 at 10:31 PM
I question the timing.
This divorce is somehow linked to Osama’s love of Whitney. I don’t know how, but it’s gotta be true. Either Bobby is splitting off out of fear, so he won’t get his head cut off, or Whitney has heard of Osama’s longing for her and is at this very minute making plans to fly off to some dusty Pakistani village where she can finally have that prince she has always dreamed of.
EFG on September 13, 2006 at 10:31 PM
Coke: It does a body bad.
Michelle on September 13, 2006 at 10:52 PM
Osama may be making a new video of his love for Whitney as we speak. Maybe he’ll play “I’ll Always Love You” in the background. I’m sure Whitney is being measured for her burkas for her and her daughter as well. Allah Akbar
Catie96706 on September 13, 2006 at 10:53 PM
I might be mistaken, but I think Whitney and Cynthia McKinney share the same hairstylist. On the other hand, maybe it’s just The Crazy coming out through their respective scalps.
Squid Vicious on September 13, 2006 at 11:09 PM
Yes, but Osama will keep this strung-out mama clean – or else she will get stoned (and not the kind she’s probably used to).
Rick on September 13, 2006 at 11:12 PM
BTW, AP?
Save that happy-crappy talk for the rest of your Bourgeoisie “top of the world” bloggers. For those of us Proletariat busting our backs down here in the comments section for peanuts and table scraps, well, we don’t want to hear it!
Yeah, it’s all peaches and roses in the romance department for you. You gently close the door on your romance with Kirsten Powers, whispering sweet nothings to her as her sad face disappears behind the door you shut. And then you happily move on, sweet talking innocent Bethany, and open the door onto a beautiful new relationship. Well lah dee freakin’ da!
AP, you may be having the time of your life in your B-52 “Love-Shack” hedonistic lifestyle, but from my end, it’s nothing but Elvis Presley and “HeartBreak Hotel”. And it’s a pretty freakin’ dismal Hotel, let me tell you. Motel-6 on the off-ramp of the super highway’s got nothing on this dump.
Some of us have found ourselves unwittingly in that place. And just maybe, we found ourselves padding down the hallway late one night in our underwear, looking to get a bucket of ice for a certain special lady. Why ice at this hour? Who knows? Maybe we just wanted to please and didn’t think about any possible hidden motive in the request. And you know what? As we ambled towards the machine, we heard that door close shut (in a very final sort of way) and heard that dead-bolt slam shut.
Let me tell you, nothing is more lonely and soul crushing than to be locked out in the dismal hallway of some two bit flea bag hotel wearing nothing but a pair of black tube socks, a white t-shirt, and a baggy set of BVD jockey underwear. I assure you, there weren’t any freaking doors “opening” anywhere in that hallway, let me tell you! And the lobby? Forget it. Graveyard shift Hotel staff can be so cruel.
EFG on September 13, 2006 at 11:16 PM
But…isn’t Whitney the girl?
MacStansbury on September 13, 2006 at 11:18 PM
Everybody’s talkin’ all this stuff about me why don’t they just let me live (tell me why?) Poor Booby..er bobby. Hasn’t had a good single in…15 years? Damn, I’m getting old. I’m glad to see whitney isn’t doing the crack ‘ho thing anymore. Last gossip rag I read she was living in her bathroom…maybe that’s why he divorced her. Ah well.
austinnelly on September 13, 2006 at 11:24 PM
My guess is that she became constipated one time to many and Bobby got tired of pulling the turds out of her because it interfered with his recreational drugs. (re: see the show, folks)
GT on September 13, 2006 at 11:39 PM
GT, that is WAY more than I needed to hear about, or imagine.
Just sayin’.
EFG on September 14, 2006 at 1:05 AM
Would a single Whitney fit well into the Ace of Spades Lifestyle? And is there such a thing as the Allahpundit Lifestyle as well? Enquiring minds want to know. We also want to know of Osama is dancing about in some Pakistani cave singing Houston songs…
Bellicose Muse on September 14, 2006 at 7:09 AM
I never could figure out what she saw in him in the first place. You just knew he would eventually bring her down into the gutter with him.
The only one I truly feel bad for is their daughter- must be hell having idiot parents like those two.
Abigail Adams on September 14, 2006 at 8:51 AM
EFG , I cant tell if you should be a writer, or you’re just another sick lost soul. No more visuals tho…please.
shooter on September 14, 2006 at 9:51 AM
Never have two people done so little with so much.
The danger of drugs reminds me of what someone said about California:
Everyday is a perfect blue sky day. You wake up thinking about maybe going to the beach to surf, and realize it is 20 years later
The main way I see people getting out of hard drugs like coke and crack is to fry their brains so much that even the drugs won’t penetrate. You find them all over, working in car washes and a couple other jobs the Mexicans won’t do.
Gee, we need burn outs to do the jobs illegal aliens son’t do!
entagor on September 14, 2006 at 10:42 AM
sorry, the jobs illegal aliens Won’t do!
mea culpa
entagor on September 14, 2006 at 10:43 AM
What a damn shame Whitney has become. She used to be so smokin’ hot, and now she’s just a run-of-the-mill crack wh-re. May she finally start the road to recovery, but she’s got a pretty steep uphill battle.
thirteen28 on September 14, 2006 at 11:07 AM
Never cared for her, that over-wrought singing style isn’t for me. (My husband refers to that everything is a crescendo style as “vocal orgasm”) Thought he was in jail?
I just can’t seem to keep up……..
honora on September 14, 2006 at 12:02 PM
…but from my end, it’s nothing but Elvis Presley and “HeartBreak Hotel”.
Uh, wouldn’t Whitney Houston’s “Heartbreak Hotel” be more fitting here? Not that it helps your sad-sack situation or anything, but…
;-P
Fly_in_Ointment on September 14, 2006 at 1:03 PM
I’ve spent a lifetime lookin’ for you.
Single bars and good time lovers were never true.
Playin’ the fools game hoping to win.
Telling those sweet lies and losing again!
I was looking for Crack ho’s in all the wrong places.
Looking for Crack ho’s in too many faces.
Searching their eyes, looking for traces
of what I’m dreaming of.
Hoping to find a friend and a lover,
I’ll bless the day I discover
another heart, looking for love!
Well, I was alone then, Crack hoe in sight.
And I did everything I could to get me throught the night.
Don’t know where it started or where it will end.
I turned to a stranger, and just like a friend.
I was looking for Crack hoe’s all the wrong places.
Looking for Crack ho’s in too many faces.
Searching their eyes, looking for traces
of what I’m dreaming of.
Hoping to find a friend and a Crack hoe,
I’ll bless the day I discover
another heart, looking for love!
Well, you came knockin at my hearts door.
You’re everything I’ve been looking for.
No more
Looking for Crack hoe’s in all the wrong places.
Looking for love in too many faces.
searching their eyes, looking for traces
of what I’m dreaming of.
Now that I found a friend and a hoe.
I bless the day I discovered you,
looking for hoe’s !
In all the wrong places.
Looking for crack hoe’s in too many faces.
searching their eyes, looking for traces
of what I’m dreaming of.
Fandango on September 14, 2006 at 6:21 PM
Osama is the cute one in that pic.
speed647 on September 14, 2006 at 8:23 PM
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