Bethanymania: RealVerse returns
posted at 11:48 pm on September 6, 2006 by Allahpundit
I thought about sending them an e-mail, but this is important enough that I should probably say it publicly. Let me make something crystal clear to the realVerse guys, just so we’re all on the same page here: if you think having Bethany mention me while winking at the camera is going to improve your chances of getting linked here, let me assure you — it will. In fact, I’ll probably link the next twenty videos you post now. Just run a blank screen for three minutes if you want. It’s all good.
It’s not that I’m easy. It’s just that … c’mon:
This is as close as I’m going to get to having a woman who looks like that flirt with me. So click, and share my moment of glory!
Speaking of welcome shout-outs, many thanks to the Blogfather for his kind words about our site in the latest podcast at HiWired. Glenn and Dr. Helen have a new podcast out themselves, having to do, appropriately enough, with love. They interviewed relationship expert Russell Friedman, who offered advice on making marriage work that ranged from the very touchy to the oh so feely.
Another libertarian, John Stossel, spoke to a few, er, relationship experts himself recently about how to keep the “zing” in one’s marriage. Their advice was a little zestier than Friedman’s — albeit just as touchy-feely, in its own unique way.
Update: While I’m mooning over Bethany, Jack M. makes his move on Mary K.
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Poor KP.
DannoJyd on September 6, 2006 at 11:59 PM
She winked at you in front of the whole world. Dude.
Do you think she knows you’re 61?
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 12:03 AM
Dude. I think that might be the highlight of my romantic life.
I’m not sure if I’m kidding.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:04 AM
Where did you find that candid shot of Helen Thomas? Oh snap!
RightWinged on September 7, 2006 at 12:05 AM
Hubba, Hubba.
Lawrence on September 7, 2006 at 12:07 AM
Do you think she knows you’re 61?
Ouch. Harsh, Bryan.
The competition heats up.
Who will win fair Bethany’s heart?
Psst…is allah really that old? :-)
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:07 AM
The 61 thing is a joke that goes back a week or two. Which is a shame, since he’d be so close to getting the senior discount at Denny’s if he was.
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 12:09 AM
I’m turning off the sound and pretending she’s winking at me…and that’s the highlight of my romantic life.
Alex K on September 7, 2006 at 12:09 AM
Age is just a numba.
Ian on September 7, 2006 at 12:09 AM
Do they even serve bloggers at Denny’s?
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:12 AM
Oh, but she AIN’T. You know why?
Because that’s all me, yo.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:14 AM
Because that’s all me, yo.
Maybe she likes senior citizens.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:17 AM
By the way, just so we’re all clear, when I said:
I was referring to that picture of the weird monkey at the end of the post, not Bethany who is arguably one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen, and it’s almost painful to watch her, knowing I moved out of Nashville after almost 5 years, only to discover her on the internet and realize that she had been a neighbor blogger!
And oh yeah, AP you’re the man… “Kristen who?” indeed.
RightWinged on September 7, 2006 at 12:24 AM
Of course they serve bloggers at Denny’s. Their freakishly muscular fingers make great bacon.
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 12:24 AM
Allah’s in love. NTTAWWT.
Kinda cute in a bloggy sort of way.
(I’m pulling for you!)
birkel on September 7, 2006 at 12:25 AM
You know, it really is. In a “hurts so good” kind of way, but still.
Three minutes, and then she’s gone. And you’re left to wonder: when?
When will she be back?
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:26 AM
Exactly what I was trying to say.
RightWinged on September 7, 2006 at 12:28 AM
I am shocked and outraged that you would use, subvert, and manipulate this austere and august website for your own cheap thatrics and male preening in front of the female of our species.
Well done.
Not everyone’s … feathers … are as big as Hot Air.
DDG on September 7, 2006 at 12:29 AM
Why must they take her away?
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:31 AM
“…and the Southern girls with the way they talk, they knock me out when I’m down there…”
d1carter on September 7, 2006 at 12:31 AM
Lots of intelligent conversations here. I’m sure she’s slapping her knee giggling at all this attention. Allahpundit, is this gonna be the new high tech dating concept where you make a fool of yourself in front of millions? Well, I guess the show Elimidate beat you to that concept, eh?
:)
You got some “realverve” there.
Kokonut on September 7, 2006 at 12:34 AM
Kokonut…who are we to judge another man’s courting techniques.
Plus, this stuff is entertaining. Sit back, make some popcorn and enjoy.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:36 AM
This is my one big job perk: virtual flirting with women who (1) live in other parts of the country, (2) are light years out of my league, and (3) I’ll never actually meet.
Can’t put a price on that!
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:37 AM
When I was in school, they served haveners. And if you don’t know that word, you can fricking take it from me that after haveners, bloggers are nothing to worry about in an establishment.
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 12:41 AM
If that’s a picture of Jack M. then I don’t think he has a chance Miss Ham.
Just sayin’.
harrison on September 7, 2006 at 12:52 AM
… aaaand judging by the dead air, that effectively killed off the Bethanydrool faucet. So sorry, boys, carry on.
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 12:52 AM
I’ll get us back on track.
I’m sitting here wondering: what if Bethany told me it would amuse her if I killed every man on these boards? Would I do it?
I’m not saying yes. But I’m not saying no, either. No offense, boys.
Well, I wouldn’t kill Bryan, of course.
Unless she asked really nicely.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:57 AM
Would you spare Ian, ’cause he’s so young?
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:10 AM
Ian’s closer to Bethany’s age, I suspect, than I am.
He’s my main rival.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:14 AM
Precisely! You don’t miss a thing, not even at such a late our for you. Do you ever sleep?
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:25 AM
Why am I reminded of the “Boot to the face” sketch? Probably because of the part where all the other guys try and gang up on the zen master. Not unlike here.
Someday, when I’m a zillion-hit-a-day blogger, I’m gonna be all over the ladies.
Bloggly speaking, of course. All I’ve got now is these stupid real ladies. Stupid physical beings!
MacStansbury on September 7, 2006 at 1:26 AM
Correction – s/b “late hour for you”
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:27 AM
Hm. Not sure if I should bring this up, but now seems as good a time as any. Thing is, in my case she’d have to ask real nice, Allah. Last time I checked, only one of us was raised in Texas and had fired several kinds of firearms by the time he was 12 or so. Oh, and then there’s the blade. Can you take on three armored louts with fake swords at one time and live to tell the tale? If only one of them had a sizeable beer gut? I didn’t think so.
Just tossing it out there. Or totally geeking out on weapons for no apparent reason. Whichever you prefer.
I’m not a rival anyway.
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 1:30 AM
Plus … Bryan recruited the realVerse vlog for Hot Air to start with. Allah … it’s a trap!!!!
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 1:32 AM
Hey, is that an old Admral Ackbar reference? This is like the weirdest thread in HA history.
Alex K on September 7, 2006 at 1:35 AM
Shhhhhh!
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 1:36 AM
I was born and raised in NYC and I’m half Italian. Firearms are in my genes, buddy.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:36 AM
Real ladies are for losers, man. Unattainable video goddesses are where it’s at.
Here’s my parting thought for the evening. Let us postulate that the success of any romantic encounter is the product of two variables: the intimacy of the interaction and the attractiveness of one’s partner.
Bethany winking at a guy she’s never met and knows only as “Allahpundit” is a very thin whisker north of absolute zero on the intimacy meter.
…But Bethany’s hotness is infinite. Multiplying the two, what conclusion do we arrive at?
Simply this: not only is this the highlight of my romantic life, it’s the greatest romantic achievement in human history.
And you all saw it. The world saw it.
It’s the Moon landing of flirtations.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:38 AM
Italians and firearms?
Don’t you mean knives and garottes? Or at least cement overshoes?
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 1:39 AM
They’re in half your genes, I’ll give you that. What about the other half? Not so much, eh?
Texas, dude. We were our own country once. Think about it is all I’m saying.
Bryan on September 7, 2006 at 1:40 AM
I’m surprised the Allah Admiral Akbar jokes don’t get made more often.
We need to be able to images in here.
/just like FARK
//I’d start with the KP tribute
///not the HA HA guy, the HOT AIR guy
MacStansbury on September 7, 2006 at 1:43 AM
Nothing like a good old flirt! Go for it.
MoonbatMedia on September 7, 2006 at 1:49 AM
*sigh* …
The Ugly American on September 7, 2006 at 2:07 AM
RE: TUA concerning *sigh*
Might wanna clarify that for the viewers at home.
Also, I swear I comment on non-Bethany threads. Honest. I do. Look it up.
MacStansbury on September 7, 2006 at 2:26 AM
If you think the wink is to die for, sit all the way through to the end for the outtakes… the most adorable part of the video.
Mark V. on September 7, 2006 at 5:00 AM
I don’t think mooning Bethany is going to get you a date Allah. Girls just don’t think that’s as funny as guys do :(
Kevin M on September 7, 2006 at 5:10 AM
Bethany (Beppy) is a cutie. It’s pretty neat to witness acknowledgement between familiar bloggers (AllahP, Michelle, Bethany, MaryK, various green footballs & such). It’s neat to see a worldwide medium reach out & pull each others’ finger.
Coronagold on September 7, 2006 at 7:19 AM
Hey Allah, I suggest you “make an offer that can’t be refused” LOL she is a cutie…..
robo on September 7, 2006 at 7:28 AM
I shall say…Allah you one lucky individual. As a note its quite nice to see the return of theme. I really enjoyed the content.
flyboy777 on September 7, 2006 at 8:26 AM
Bethany is very pretty and unlike KP is on our side of the political fence. Good luck. ;)
Benaiah on September 7, 2006 at 8:27 AM
If she didn’t have a boyfriend, I would’ve disowned my entire gender.
Allah, I don’t want to break it to you, but I view you as a friend: She only loves you for your traffic, man. I’m sorry.
Still, she might get even me rooting for the Titans (sure hard to root for the Cowboys with T.O. on the field).
Mike O on September 7, 2006 at 9:17 AM
It’s the mystery, dude. As long as she has no idea who you are, she’s yours! That sort of appeal doesn’t grow on trees.
Pablo on September 7, 2006 at 9:18 AM
And we can still secede from the union. we’re the only state that can do that. kinda cool, huh?
pullingmyhairout on September 7, 2006 at 9:47 AM
What is she, 17 years old? But, hey, a wink’s a wink.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on September 7, 2006 at 9:48 AM
Remember Bethany is somebody’s daughter, like maybe mine. Just kidding guys but I made ya flinch didn’t I?
Besides I don’t think she would ever go fer a feriner from up north.
LakeRuins on September 7, 2006 at 10:06 AM
Mah baby boy is growing up so fast!
Mark Jaquith on September 7, 2006 at 10:06 AM
Yeah!
Er, yeah.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 10:08 AM
Enjoy her while you can. WIth her instant star quality and Shania’s-hot-little-sister incredible looks I bet the whole country is going to fall in love with Bethany real soon. What a find.
Halley on September 7, 2006 at 10:12 AM
Bethany is to me as donuts to Homer Simpson. I find myself delightfully incapacitated for a few minutes.
Valiant on September 7, 2006 at 10:31 AM
Come for the right-wing politics, stay for the incessant flirting.
We need to get Allah and Bethany together. He just answers his doorbell one day and there she is. The power of the blogosphere can make it happen!
Number 2 on September 7, 2006 at 11:04 AM
Looks like I missed out on some good commenting last night/early morning – Bethany/AP v. Bryan/Texas/guns/being half-Italian. All that was missing was the boss chiming in.
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Now you’re talking some sense. Bethany > Kirsten
thirteen28 on September 7, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Glad to see there are other Texans on this board ;) I wasn’t born here, but I did get here as fast as I could …
thirteen28 on September 7, 2006 at 11:52 AM
Ya never know what the future holds, AP – maybe one day meeting Bethany or MKH will happen, perhaps when you least expect it …
SisterToldjah on September 7, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Ha. Well, number 2′s the real obstacle there.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:18 PM
You mean, a theocratic conspiracy by which Allah is left a malleable sheep in the hands of the Bethanygovernment?
Because, shockingly, it’s exactly like that!
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 12:18 PM
Can we get back to the “bloggers fingers make great bacon” conversation?
:-)
One Angry Christian on September 7, 2006 at 12:33 PM
I think you’re misunderestimating yourself, Allah :)
SisterToldjah on September 7, 2006 at 12:40 PM
Can we get back to the “bloggers fingers make great bacon” conversation?
Heh. Sicko.
For the record, they really don’t. I’ve been gnawing on my fingers for hours and all I taste is pennies.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:41 PM
Hate to burst your bubble AP – mathematically, multiplying ‘zero’ by anything, including ‘infinite’, is still ZERO :(
Alas, good thing we’re not measuring ‘romantic achievement’ in mathematical terms :)
If one half is Italian, what is the other 50%?
Fun thread – it’s good to mix humor with gloom – humor is the button that keeps our shirts from popping.
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 12:53 PM
Nah, Entelechy, he said a shade whisker *over* zero.
My problem with his formula is, doesn’t that mean Beth goes around achieving “greatest romantic achievements in human history” all the time?
Alex K on September 7, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Heh, so many worthy rivals for Allah’s virtual affection…Only one solution, really. Mud-wrestle videoblogging at Townhall, because I’m gettin’ the traffic off that baby. Bring. It. On.
(What? You don’t think the bosses will go for it?)
marykatharine on September 7, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Yes. I said the intimacy meter was pegged at just north of zero. Some very minute fraction of 1, in other words — which, multiplied by infinity, gives us infinity.
The other half is Irish.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Heh, so many worthy rivals for Allah’s virtual affection…Only one solution, really. Mud-wrestle videoblogging at Townhall, because I’m gettin’ the traffic off that baby. Bring. It. On.
You’ve got to do what you feel is right.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:58 PM
YOU WILL NOT IMPUGN ALLAH’S FANTASY LADY THAT WAY.
Dear sweet lord…
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 12:59 PM
No…really. You’ve got to do it.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 12:59 PM
We all know what will happen, AP tries for BOTH, Kirsten and Bethany,pisses ‘em off, then loses both..( Kirsten Who? ouch) and I’ll be there to soothe their pain. Hero in the making right here.
As far as a shootout in the West…Native Coloradoans have real guns, real big and long rifles.
And I didnt get my nickname from shots of booze.
P.S. I DO know where she lives!
waiting…..waiting…..C’Mon Allah, say something else and insult one of those beauties….
shooter on September 7, 2006 at 12:59 PM
I could be a coach.
Or the guy who makes the mud.
Or the moron with the Gatorade.
I mean, whatever you need help with, I’m there.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 1:01 PM
I concede, realizing that the e-world has the potential to create ‘intimacy’ of “just north of zero” :)
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:01 PM
I’m IN. At least I’ll watch.
shooter on September 7, 2006 at 1:02 PM
That’s what I’m talking about – my money is on MK.
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 1:06 PM
Mary Katherine, Bethany, Kirsten. You’re going to have to change your name from Allah to Playa pretty soon.
And I second MKH’s suggestion. It may set all time traffic records.
Number 2 on September 7, 2006 at 1:06 PM
And I second MKH’s suggestion. It may set all time traffic records.
Just don’t hold the match during the day. U.S. productivity would take a serious hit.
Slublog on September 7, 2006 at 1:08 PM
What about MM??
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 1:12 PM
MKH is the lady for you AP: smart, eloquent, interesting, beutiful, reads this thread, sense of humor, practical,…right in your sphere…
KP is KP and Bethany is still ‘forming’…
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:12 PM
Um, she’s “forming” pretty g-ddamned well, from what I’ve seen.
If she’s still a work in progress, what the hell is she going to look like when she’s “done”?
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:15 PM
Don’t forget tough and willing to take on challenges
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 1:16 PM
Meant to say that MKH is “beautiful”.
AP, don’t miss the bird in your sphere for the one on a fence or flying somewhere…
…or are you just getting MKH jealous?
Entelechy on September 7, 2006 at 1:21 PM
Well, believe it or not, KP’s the one I’ve been e-mailing with most frequently of late.
And speaking of which, she’s supposed to be on Dayside any minute now. Sitting next to Juliet Huddy, presumably, which is an unfortunate position for any woman.
Except Bethany, of course.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:23 PM
Somehow it always comes back to KP.
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 1:30 PM
Per your precious ladder theory, I’m fairly sure it’s unwise to reveal the ranking of your “special ladies” directly to them.
Get back to us after she reads this thread. ;)
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 1:38 PM
I haven’t really. Besides, the ladder theory really only describes how women treat men. I’m low enough on enough people’s ladders that I can afford to be especially choosy about my fantasy love interests.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:41 PM
AP, practice up here so you’re ready to properly respond next time one of the fine ladies of the blogosphere comes a callin’.
RightWinged on September 7, 2006 at 1:42 PM
!!!
I’m sure that’s what the guy thought who wrote it. But allow me to inform you that the idea ranking women solely on a “bangable” scale very decidedly speaks to how men treat women. Just because that part of the theory is laconic doesn’t make it invisible.
Man. Men and their, “What? I didn’t do anything!” fantasies.
Anwyn on September 7, 2006 at 1:48 PM
AP is taking the right approach. He’s being honest and humble at the same time. Also, I don’t recall anybody saying anything about who is more “bangable” – as for the fantasies…well, we are what we are.
Rick on September 7, 2006 at 1:52 PM
“Honest and humble” is precisely the wrong approach, in my opinion.
Allahpundit on September 7, 2006 at 1:54 PM
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