The Citizen Journalist Report, Ep. 1

posted at 10:11 am on August 25, 2006 by Bryan

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The ‘How Many Licks Does it Take?’ cap is very funny.

This is why lefties hate him so; he’s so intellectual.

lauraw on August 25, 2006 at 2:11 PM

And please mimi, check this out at the library.

bamapachyderm on August 25, 2006 at 2:12 PM

So … back to JG – how many more comments does this thread need to break surpass the number of comments from Bethany’s Wednesday Vent? Gotta be getting close, I’d imagine.

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 2:22 PM

Jeff “The Chameleon” Goldstein!

Jim Treacher on August 25, 2006 at 2:25 PM

ST, she had 15 trackbacks on teh first one, and 119 comments.

bamapachyderm on August 25, 2006 at 2:30 PM

ST, she had 15 trackbacks on teh first one, and 119 comments.

Well, JG’s Vent has surpassed the 15 trackback mark, and I think my comment will be the 109th. Awesome :)

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 2:35 PM

Well, JG’s Vent has surpassed the 15 trackback mark, and I think my comment will be the 109th. Awesome :)

This is why I do not gamble. I suck at it.

Rich on August 25, 2006 at 2:50 PM

Who, Goldstein? No you don’t, he’s married.

Well, I wasn’t thinking the wimmen would be for Jeff, exactly. Some nice platonic friends, perhaps…

Pablo on August 25, 2006 at 3:07 PM

Pablo, please, if you highjack this thread into another one of those ‘platonic friendships’ threads then these comments will probably surpass 400. Oh, wait a minute…

PattyAnn on August 25, 2006 at 3:22 PM

First Sister Toldjah-you claim to be conservative, then slam on Ann Coulter you cant handle strong women so you ask men to explain their attraction to her. Who cares! You seem horny and it’s gross! Yesterday others here said Ann Coulter needed to eat biscuits & gravy, etc. My problem is this is a conservative website when in fact everyone here slams a conservative female. Now I’m getting messages that I need a Midol, straight jacket, spelling 101, prozac-where was this reaction for Ann Coulter? I dont agree slamming conservatives we have the media to that for us, yet I’m finding that here-NOT TO WORRY I’VE UNSUBSCRIBE, since I’m making people sick.

mimi on August 25, 2006 at 3:43 PM

You see? I’m a uniter!

Jeff G on August 25, 2006 at 3:46 PM

NOT TO WORRY I’VE UNSUBSCRIBE, since I’m making people sick.

Okay, bye.

Allahpundit on August 25, 2006 at 3:48 PM

Dorkafork was hilarious! A bit too close to reality around here though…;-)

Jeff is as dry and funny as I thought he would be. I’m proud that he can be that way without one bad word. Now that wasn’t hard, was it?

*Sigh* A generation growing up that will never know who Gary Coleman is. Btw, where were those kid’s parents??? What ever happened to STRANGER DANGER?? Don’t they teach that in Colorado????

Well, if you ever need an actress for your bits, you know where to find me.

Rightwingsparkle on August 25, 2006 at 3:48 PM

Dorkafork was hilarious!

Er, guys: df was behind the camera. Jeff played both parts.

I guess the disguise worked.

Allahpundit on August 25, 2006 at 3:50 PM

This is why I do not gamble. I suck at it.

Glad you didn’t in this case – looks like the comments have passed the magic 119 mark.

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 3:51 PM

OMG! How funny. The disguise DID fool me!

Rightwingsparkle on August 25, 2006 at 3:51 PM

Hee. Hey Jeff, I haven’t met the objectification requirement yet.

You know I only recruited you for your biceps, don’t you?

I am increasing the costume budget to allow for the purchase of a Speedo.

Cue Allah’s rolled eyes.

Seriously, my favorite moment of today’s episode: close-up of the Mercedes-Benz peace symbol on the Zionazism placard.

Triple-snort!

Michelle on August 25, 2006 at 3:51 PM

You know Deb is gonna see this and will hate all these breeder oriented comments. It is to laugh….hah!

TBinSTL on August 25, 2006 at 3:53 PM

SisterToldjah,

You’ve upset mimi by seeming horny. Go take care of that.

:-)

Rightwingsparkle on August 25, 2006 at 3:53 PM

I am increasing the costume budget to allow for the purchase of a Speedo.

You GO girl!

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 3:54 PM

NOT TO WORRY I’VE UNSUBSCRIBE, since I’m making people sick.

I know what this is about. Sheesh. Why didn’t I think of it sooner? You’re upset because I didn’t give you any color options on the straight jacket. Not to worry – I’ve found a place that will give you more fashionable options on the straight jacket front. Enjoy.

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 3:58 PM

I am increasing the costume budget to allow for the purchase of a Speedo.

Oh, man…that mental image makes me want to crack open the ‘ol skull and pour in some bleach.

*shudder*

Slublog on August 25, 2006 at 3:58 PM

I am increasing the costume budget to allow for the purchase of a Speedo.

Please make it a leopard print thong.

My problem is this is a conservative website when in fact everyone here slams a conservative female. Now I’m getting messages that I need a Midol, straight jacket, spelling 101, prozac-where was this reaction for Ann Coulter?

Mimi, can’t you take a joke? guess not.

pullingmyhairout on August 25, 2006 at 3:59 PM

Mimi, can’t you take a joke? guess not.

Some of us weren’t joking ;)

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 4:00 PM

one more thing before I have to pick up the rugrats from school – congrats on surpassing the 119 mark!! good job, girlfriends! :)

and allah, I look forward to seeing you in that speedo. ba ba bing!

pullingmyhairout on August 25, 2006 at 4:01 PM

Some of us weren’t joking ;)

I know. she just can’t handle ya’ll. she gave me a hard time on another thread yesterday, so – buh bye, mimi.

pullingmyhairout on August 25, 2006 at 4:03 PM

No one noticed (or mentioned) yet that the sign also spells out “PEZ” with the large capital letters. So does that make Jeff’s characters “PEZ” dispensers? Great vent, Jeff. Looking forward to many more.

DakRoland on August 25, 2006 at 4:14 PM

Jeff,

A good technical job on this Vent.

I understand the point but these two morons are just, well, stupid.

I had to fast forward through most of it to keep from barfing up my lunch. That supposed red-neck dude, I just want to punch him. What a goober.

It was obvious they were staging this for purposes other than a serious petition drive.

If I didn’t know about your background as a serious pundit, I would have guessed that you stagged this whole thing.

But in the end, it was them that look stupid. Not you. Maybe that is the point to take home from this.

Lawrence on August 25, 2006 at 4:16 PM

Um…it was compeltely staged, Lawrence. Jeff played both characters, and himself, to test whether people judged the value of the message based on ‘who’ the messenger was. (how they looked, spoke, acted, etc..) “it was them that look stupid.” Them was Jeff. ;-)

DakRoland on August 25, 2006 at 4:34 PM

Gosh! Jeff missed his calling! Forget Tom Cruise!

Rightwingsparkle on August 25, 2006 at 5:02 PM

“Man, I ain’t an anti-semite, I’m circumsized!”

Classic!

TexasRainmaker on August 25, 2006 at 5:07 PM

Glad to see this. Jeff’s intelligence and creativity are too big to fit on just the protein wisdom site.

And I’m not a sock puppet.

mikeyboss on August 25, 2006 at 5:12 PM

“How am I an anti-semite? I’m circumcised!”

Pure. Comedy. Gold.

Nay. The gold standard by which other, lesser, comedy gold will for forever be measured. (No pun intended that time. Bris my heart and hope to die.)

Kadnine on August 25, 2006 at 5:16 PM

YAY! Two days of “mancandy” and I had to work instead of vent all day..oh well..live like a Capitalist work like a Capitalist!
GREAT vent..very very funny. The “bolo tie” thing was a real hoot!

labwrs on August 25, 2006 at 5:20 PM

I want to know how Dorkafork managed to keep a straight face so as not to give away the whole setup?

A better man than I, that Dorkafork. And quite the cameraman. Good on you both. A fine job.

Kadnine on August 25, 2006 at 5:26 PM

Um…it was compeltely staged, Lawrence.

DakRoland on August 25, 2006 at 4:34 PM

I was attempting to be droll. But I couldn’t pull it off.
;)

Lawrence on August 25, 2006 at 5:35 PM

Jeff,

All that talent and a Master of Disguise too. Very funny, son. Keep it up.

Subsunk

Subsunk on August 25, 2006 at 5:35 PM

Late to the party–Jeff, that was fantastic. You’re cute, really cute and not that seedy “I’m a real writer” guy in the cowboy hat on your about page. Mwahahaha. Weekly? Hooray!

Anwyn on August 25, 2006 at 5:47 PM

Wow. Jeff is really cute. Tears are rolling down my eyes, but not in the liberal way, but the laughing so hard way.

I love the pragmatic guy.

Stormy70 on August 25, 2006 at 5:54 PM

You know, Bethany should try this idea. Like, see how people respond differently to her when she’s dressed as, say, a prim librarian than when she’s done up as, oh, a bikini model. Just blue-skying here.

Jim Treacher on August 25, 2006 at 5:55 PM

Stormy70–glad I can amuse. In keeping with the general drift of thread, no? Oh, you wanted substance? Well, he’s got guts, too, to dress up as not one but two different people and solicit signatures for inflammatory views. But then, Jeff’s guts were never really in doubt, were they?

Anwyn on August 25, 2006 at 5:58 PM

personally this was my least favorite vent. I’m not bashing. I just didn’t care for it. Liberal protestors look dumb enough without conservatives pretending to be them.

Just my two cents.

One Angry Christian on August 25, 2006 at 6:17 PM

Just got home, got settled in, and could watch the Vent.

“You’ve got a ponytail, man, how can you not be helping?”

Freaking priceless.

Loved this Vent. Looking fwd to the weekly segment.

Oh, and I think I’ve seen that redneck guy in the blue jean shorts sitting on a bench at a gas station around here … ;) (Great try at the southern accent, JG!)

SisterToldjah on August 25, 2006 at 6:55 PM

Totally hilarious. Looking forward to the weekly show.

Tanya on August 25, 2006 at 7:17 PM

Well done, Jeff.

And the best thing about this comment thread? The ones who didn’t get it.

baldilocks on August 25, 2006 at 7:20 PM

Speaking of didn’t get it, I think I misinterpreted Stormy70 above. Sorry about that.

Anwyn on August 25, 2006 at 7:28 PM

…a prim librarian vs. as, a bikini model.

Jim Treacher on August 25, 2006 at 5:55 PM

Bethany as a binkin model?

Indeed.
.

Lawrence on August 25, 2006 at 7:53 PM

It’s the end of a long week…I am tired. School starts on Monday and I still don’t have my syllabus copied. I don’t want to go in to work tomorrow but I have to. Y’all know how it is…and then I make the stupid mistake of watching this video on a full bladder.

Not a good idea. I guess I was just lucky I wasn’t eating at the same time, eh?

Funny, funny, funny. Too many good lines to pick just one.

I think I need to go watch it again.

Bob's Kid on August 25, 2006 at 9:38 PM

Anwyn – That’s ok. It is hard to tell sometimes.

Jeff is really good looking, which is nice to see on Hot Air after a long week of work. Plus, I was trying to emulate all the liberal commenters who always have “tears rolling down their face as I type this post bashing everything Bush has done to destroy the country.” Liberal commenters are always weeping.

I adored the how many licks trucker hat. Where can I pick one up. Does it come in pink?

Stormy70 on August 25, 2006 at 10:42 PM

Good job on teh funny. I’ll be watching for future episodes….

DWB on August 26, 2006 at 12:30 AM

Thanks, Stormy–I thought you were mocking me finding Jeff “really cute,” not agreeing. I think it was the overreactors on the Coulter thread that had me up in arms. Anyway. Jeff Good. More Jeff. Come back, Michelle! Come back!

Anwyn on August 26, 2006 at 1:03 AM

This was the dumbest thing ever.

ChrisInCanadaOrAussy on August 26, 2006 at 1:06 AM

Goldstein was frighteningly believable. There is no way that he has never played Ultimate Frisbee.

The Unabrewer on August 26, 2006 at 2:37 AM

For some reason, I’m flashing back to 10 years ago on the N.C. State campus… we got both kinds in the Brickyard. But it was all good when the Ag guys brought the livestock on campus and I got to try my first taste of turkey ham.

Creepy.

Where was I?

Anyway, I gotta get me a bolo tie. Luckily, they’re not covered in NYC’s varied weapons restrictions.

meep on August 26, 2006 at 9:37 AM

Am I the only one who thought I was watching an Adam Sandler gag reel? Like twins.

Gregor on August 26, 2006 at 6:49 PM

Am I the only one who thought I was watching an Adam Sandler gag reel? Like twins.

True dat. It was funny.

One Angry Christian on August 27, 2006 at 10:58 AM

I’m guessing that the good Sister Toldjah was gently tweaking the male common-taters here who have been wolf-whistling Bethany, MKH and Michelle. Cool as School.

Doug on August 27, 2006 at 3:23 PM

Comment pages: 1 2