Report: Osama had a “paramount desire” for Whitney Houston

posted at 6:11 pm on August 21, 2006 by Allahpundit

Not one word in the comments expressing skepticism about this. I mean it. For purposes of this blog, now and forevermore, this one’s capital-T red-front True, baby.

The dark lord of jihadism, sporting a rod for a crackhead American pop singer? What?

It is, quite simply, the greatest gossip item ever.

These Page Six items tend to disappear quickly so I’m reprinting the whole thing. I think God would want me to.

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States – the world’s most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he’s even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.

Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden’s sex slave, writes in her autobiography, “Diary of a Lost Girl,” which is excerpted in the September Harper’s: “He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.”

Boof – who wrote for the soap opera “The Days of Our Lives” until she was axed last month – continues, “He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting.”

Boof says bin Laden couldn’t stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. “He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.”

But bin Laden’s murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar. “[He would say] how beautiful she is,” Boof claims, “what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband – Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens’ husbands killed.

“In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston’s name,” Boof writes.

But as much as bin Laden adored Houston, he was also dismissive of black women. “African women are only good for a man’s lower pleasures,” bin Laden supposedly said. “What need do you have for a womb?”

And Boof writes that the 9/11 terror mastermind detested her hairstyle. “Why do you wear your hair braided?” he fumed, telling her that “only monkeys” did that.

You have to admit — it does sound like him.

Poor Bobby Brown, though. Doesn’t he have enough problems?

whitney.jpg

If Osama’s going to ogle one of ours, we’re going to ogle one of his:

wafah.jpg

Actually, she’s one of ours, too.

And depending upon her politics, I’d say she’s pretty well qualified to host Vent.

Update: The greatest love of all.

Update: E.M. Zanotti: “Suddenly, his plan to contaminate all of the crack cocaine makes sense, in a sick and twisted Romeo-and-Juliet if-I-can’t-have-her-aint-nobody-gonna sort of way.”

Breaking on Hot Air

Blowback

Trackbacks/Pings

Trackback URL

Comments

Well,that is only because he hasn’t caught the Paisley craze yet.

bbz123 on August 21, 2006 at 6:59 PM

Lunatic nees same as company…

Allah, in the name of nuance and reaching out to the other camp, you can make a one-time exception, if Wafah is a political leftie, with the condition that she bellie dances…

Entelechy on August 21, 2006 at 7:06 PM

Clearly, Osama hasn’t factored the logistics of a relationship with Mrs. “My Prerogative”. The CMB doesn’t deliver to the tribal cavelands between Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Kid from Brooklyn on August 21, 2006 at 7:10 PM

Durka durka horny jihad.

speed647 on August 21, 2006 at 7:12 PM

I posted this elsewhere today and it was ignored in lieu of August 22 panic.

You know, I haven’t seen either Whitney or Osama lately.

Could they have hooked up?

JammieWearingFool on August 21, 2006 at 7:17 PM

My earlier thoughts.

JammieWearingFool on August 21, 2006 at 7:21 PM

Man, what happened to her???

Oh yeah, that’s right-crack.

At least if she was hangin’ with OBL she’d be high on opium and might get some meat on the old bones.

NTWR on August 21, 2006 at 7:22 PM

Ah, Wikipedia. Caveats out the wazoo on that entry, including the limited number of external references to it. Your link should help some.

Dufour’s mother tongue is French, she also speaks English and Spanish.She don’t speaks Arabic.

Excellent background reference, indifferent value as a fount of knowledge. May it live long and prosper.

Patton on August 21, 2006 at 7:29 PM

If Osama insists on getting his forbidden freak on without violating his color code, there are entertainer options out there that are probably more up his, uh, alley, given his recent environs. Look on the bright side. Dr. Zawahiri needs a break.

Kid from Brooklyn on August 21, 2006 at 7:44 PM

“Learning to love jihad, is the Greatest Love of All.”

mikeyboss on August 21, 2006 at 7:46 PM

We need to send her on a “support the troops” tour in Afghanistan with minimal personal security. When Osama kidnaps her… he brings upon himself a worse punishment than we could ever inflict upon him, bahahaha!

Lehuster on August 21, 2006 at 9:16 PM

The new “love that dare not speak its name.”

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on August 21, 2006 at 9:44 PM

For pity’s sake, I thought I read Obama, aka the Senator. All I could think there for a split minute was, wazzz he be thinking?

sharinlite on August 21, 2006 at 9:57 PM

Sorry Osama. You get 72 virgins not 72 crack whores.

“Kiss my ass!”
– Whitney Houston

infra172 on August 21, 2006 at 10:26 PM

Maybe a cuz or two look like this half sister does?
“She is one of the 300 half nieces and half nephews of Osama bin Laden.”
The bad news? They are going to out populate us by Friday.

shooter on August 22, 2006 at 12:06 AM

You know, this becomes even stranger when you consider that Whitney made a trip to Israel a few years back and hooked up with the Black Hebrew movement, which would make her one of the most hated of all infidels (Jews, for those without a program).

Can someone please create a Photoshop image of Osama and Whitney together, and with Whitney wearing the black hat and those little sideburn/curls that Hasidic Jews have? That would be awesome (Allah, I’m looking at you).

Bellicose Muse on August 22, 2006 at 12:29 AM

Wait, wait, WAIT.

‘Color Rule?’
“African women are only good for [sex]…”??

Are you telling me these noble 12th-Century Minutemen are racists?

I’m flibberty-gibbets.

lauraw on August 22, 2006 at 9:42 AM

This story is a prime example of what’s wrong with 24 hour “news”.

honora on August 22, 2006 at 9:47 AM

I think he should give her a call … and take a crack at it!

Very sad what happened to her. She used to sing to our Troops, now she’s wack material for the cave dwelling maniac they’re protecting us from.

Tony737 on August 22, 2006 at 12:40 PM

Yeah, meeting Bobby Brown was the worst thing that could have happened to Whitney. She used to be beautiful and had a voice to match. She should be on that faces of crack video. If that’s not a drug deterrent, I don’t know what is.

Catie96706 on August 22, 2006 at 1:23 PM

I saw the movie. It starred James Mason and Judy Garland. I can’t remember the part with the guy in a turban, but I think he drowns himself after he gets a close-up of the other two.

entagor on August 22, 2006 at 1:36 PM

Does that mean The Bodyguard II, love and jihad, starring OBL, all his bodyguards, Whitney, and small role for Costner (gets killed off at the beginning) will be coming to theaters soon?

Rick on August 22, 2006 at 3:36 PM

Forget Whitney…Dolly Parton singing “I Will Always
Love You” as also sung in the play “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” is still the best rendition and will always be.
Thanks Dolly.

gary on August 22, 2006 at 7:17 PM