Video: Darth Vader, smartass
posted at 1:36 pm on August 4, 2006 by Allahpundit
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Brilliant.
Friday afternoon bonus: Because the first job of the blogger is to inform.
Question: So you put it out there — and we’ve got to ask: Why do men fall asleep after sex?
Leyner: People have no idea how much work it is for a man to produce an ejaculation. You have this seminal vesicle churning out this fluid, the prostate gland producing an alkaline solution. It’s like having five iron chefs in your crotch working to cook up this stuff.
Goldberg: There are hormones that are secreted at orgasm — proloactin, oxytocin —that facilitate sleep. But you have to accept as gospel that men orgasm more than women. If that’s true, then you have your answer as to why men fall asleep after sex. …And it seems like women don’t. If women orgasm as much as men, we might all be asleep all the time.
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Absolo-freaking-lutely funny.
Mortis on August 4, 2006 at 1:41 PM
Vader is beyond brilliant.
DDG on August 4, 2006 at 1:53 PM
pretty funny. :-)
Brian on August 4, 2006 at 1:57 PM
My problem is insomnia. Guess that speaks volumes about my romantic life. I’ll have to get with my wife to discuss these findings and, with any luck, find our own solutions.
Perhaps some of you readers inclined to prayer (I know you’re out there) could include me and my dilemma in your supplications.
I’ll not hold my breath though.
THeDRiFTeR on August 4, 2006 at 3:22 PM
Am I misreading this? Or are you actually stirring up shit in a thread about a Darth Vader parody?
Allahpundit on August 4, 2006 at 3:30 PM
Stirring up shit? By all means, no. And I certainly hope that you don’t actually believe I have ever come to “stir up shit”. It was my attempt at a little self deprecating comedy.
Not very effective, I gather.
THeDRiFTeR on August 4, 2006 at 3:57 PM
By the way, sincerely loved the video!
THeDRiFTeR on August 4, 2006 at 3:58 PM
Drifter, the shit-stirring suspicions arise from your assumption that your fellow brethren wouldn’t pray for you, if need be. Actually, I thought the “holding your breath” line was the punchline, which would have been truly brilliant. At first, I misread that line as an auto-erotic asphyxiation reference. That’s where the confusion may have been.
Kid from Brooklyn on August 4, 2006 at 4:49 PM
Men orgasm more than women? Only if the man doesn’t know what he’s doin’. Women have multiple orgasms if the man she’s with knows how to use the equipment the Good Lord gave him. If this article is true then there must be a whole lotta unhappy women out there. Mrs. 737 is not one of them (smile).
Tony737 on August 4, 2006 at 4:58 PM
I like this Vader link better, though.
Kid from Brooklyn on August 4, 2006 at 5:03 PM
So, are we allowed to say, “Not my fault honey, it’s the hormones”? If so, this is a great day for mankind.
Kevin M on August 4, 2006 at 5:04 PM
Why do men fall asleep after sex?
What else would you do?
B Moe on August 4, 2006 at 6:14 PM
I heart YouTube long time.
The Ugly American on August 4, 2006 at 6:17 PM
…And it seems like women don’t…
I beg to differ…….*snore*….
The Ugly American on August 4, 2006 at 6:19 PM
Drifter,
If you really are suffering from insomnia, you have my sympathy. It sucks. I will say a prayer for you. I also suggest you talk to your doc, if you haven’t already.
mikeyboss on August 4, 2006 at 7:03 PM
Who stole the video? Was there a video?
DannoJyd on August 4, 2006 at 7:04 PM
Boys will be boys especially on hot Friday afternoons Darth Vader and sex..the male mind is a mysterious thing! *LOL*
labwrs on August 4, 2006 at 7:29 PM
I saw this last night and I laughed so hard I was near to tears.
marianpaul on August 4, 2006 at 7:53 PM
Priceless!
Dave Shay on August 4, 2006 at 8:13 PM
Is the drunk blogging experiment going on day 2?
coondawg on August 4, 2006 at 9:56 PM
Is it just me or did they use footage of two different Imperial officers in that?
Anwyn on August 4, 2006 at 10:21 PM
Because of selfish attitudes like this moron:
Boo-Freaking-Hoo! It took so much work, a whole 30 seconds, for me to ejaculate! I’m gonna fall asleep now!
What’s that honey? You want more? OK, well next time I’ll….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
speed647 on August 4, 2006 at 10:34 PM
Speed,
You have to understand Leyner, and take nothing he says seriously.
Except maybe this, “As a writer, the notion of being paid to masturbate does not strike me as strange in the least.”
Listening, Allah? ;o)
mikeyboss on August 4, 2006 at 10:50 PM
Not being snarky. Not being rude. Honestly trying to help.
I agree with Tony737 on August 4, 2006 at 4:58 PM.
It has been my experience that if you want domestic tranquility, better quality sleep, and a wife that will happily chase you down for the rest of your life, learn how to touch her and listen to her. And be willing to love her enough to not get in any kind of hurry.
Treat it as the most fun kind of R&D project. I can not overstate the multitude of benifits to relationships that result from this simple expression of affection.
If she’s wise, she’ll even help you out with the R&D. ;o) If you do it right, she falls asleep before you do.
Nothing is more beautiful, IMHO, than the site of a peacefully sleeping well-satisfied woman.
techno_barbarian on August 5, 2006 at 10:17 AM
How come Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg didn’t address the issue of “Attractive parents more likely to have daughters”? – we could have finally known…
And, a chance to lend a helping hand:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060804/od_nm/masturbate_odd_dc_1
Entelechy on August 5, 2006 at 3:23 PM
barbarian,
Don’t be fooled. They can fake sleep as easily as they fake the other.
mikeyboss on August 5, 2006 at 7:11 PM
mikeyboss on August 5, 2006 at 7:11 PM
Bwahahaahahahaahaa!
If you do it right, there will be no question about ‘faking’.
Easy to fake noises and motions. Harder, if not impossible, to fake physiology. ;o)
And that’s about as deeply as we should probably delve into that subject.
techno_barbarian on August 6, 2006 at 11:10 AM
KID – saw the one you linked. That is too funny!!!! I cried laughing so hard….
dallas94 on August 7, 2006 at 11:00 AM
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