One of these stories is untrue

posted at 6:17 pm on July 25, 2006 by Allahpundit

Somehow today turned into Gimmicky Crap Day.

True or false?

1. House Republicans are working on a compromise immigration bill that would trust illegals to deport themselves.
2. The hottest trend in men’s fashion is the purse, colloquially known as the “man-tote.”
3. A Democratic candidate for Senate in Maryland has been charged with beating and raping his 20-year-old mail-order bride.
4. Kos regrets using the words “screw them” with regard to American contractors murdered in Fallujah, but otherwise stands by his comment.
5. Fox News chief Roger Ailes has accused Keith Olbermann of having “few viewers except those he gets when he attacks Fox News.”
6. Howard Dean’s brother Joe is using the PAC Dean created to campaign for Ned Lamont.
7. Cindy Sheehan is in a “black funk of depression” over Israel’s “morally reprehensible” actions in Lebanon.
8. A Berkeley grad student has published a poem in which she fantasizes about being penetrated by Hezbollah.
9. Pakistan has ramped up its nuclear production cycle and will soon produce enough plutonium for 20-30 bombs a year.

Answer: Gotcha.

1. False. Senate Republicans are working on it, too.
2. False. It’s most commonly known as the, er, “man-bag.”
3. False. She’s 19.
4. False. He stands by it root and branch.
5. False. He accused him of having no viewers except those he gets when he attacks Fox.
6. False. Dean’s brother’s name is Jim.
7. False. It’s a blue funk.
8. False. She said she didn’t want to be penetrated by Hezbollah on account of the fact that they’re too much man.
9. False. It’s more like 40-50.


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Comments

But even though False… as Danny boy would say… they had a higher truth….

Romeo13 on July 25, 2006 at 6:26 PM

What,no pics of the hot Latvian wife?

bbz123 on July 25, 2006 at 6:31 PM

Cindy stuffing singles down thongs was more of a pink funk. Lebanon didn’t exist that night.

Coronagold on July 25, 2006 at 8:08 PM

A guy with a purse is a little weird, but I think you’re supposed to call them ‘mansacks’, not ‘man-totes’.

Kevin M on July 25, 2006 at 8:54 PM

Very good, people! I’m laughing so much that I cannot even come up with a coherent comment. :o)

DannoJyd on July 25, 2006 at 9:33 PM

I hate trick questions.

docdave on July 25, 2006 at 9:56 PM

Fake but accurate.

speed647 on July 25, 2006 at 10:34 PM

David’s wife is a legal permanent resident from Europe as well, so understanding how to reconcile cultural differences with different religion and thinking has been a part of his life.

Might want to rethink using the past tense here, David.

B Moe on July 25, 2006 at 10:51 PM

Booooooooo

Defector01 on July 25, 2006 at 11:54 PM

Pakistan has ramped up its nuclear production cycle and will soon produce enough plutonium for [40 - 50] bombs a year.

I’m hoping the regional nuclear powers will adopt a policy of mutually assured pre-emption. They can get in a circle and each try to be the one who shoots his rocket first.

Kralizec on July 26, 2006 at 12:49 AM

Now that’s a method for great effect.

Milano on July 26, 2006 at 2:52 AM

You hit a sore point with me on #2. Over at the Free Republic I have been slammed for stating that I wear a waist pack at all times outdoors. The vicious FReepers have attacked my manhood for wearing a “purse” on my waist as a result. However, a waist pack is NOT purse plus the Scots have been wearing something like that for centuries. Plus the waist pack is incredibly practical. I place my sunglasses, radio, knife, measuring tape, pens, dental floss, etc. in there.

A waist pack (formerly known as a fanny pack) is NOT a purse!!!

pjcomix on July 26, 2006 at 7:18 AM

What do you call a man’s purse?

A briefcase!

CrazyFool on July 26, 2006 at 8:38 AM

False. A Berkeley grad student, male or female, would like to be penetrated by Bill Clinton.

Khyber Pass on July 26, 2006 at 12:04 PM

So…I guess you’re ahead of the truth curve. Except for a couple of events I’d heard of, I thought you were making most of them up. Democratic Seanatorial candidate beating/raping mail order wife? What?

Doug on July 26, 2006 at 2:52 PM