Gain weight on the Moonbat Fast Plan
posted at 9:08 am on July 14, 2006 by Bryan
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How Moonbats Fast
Troops Home Fast
Cindy Sheehan Diet Plan
Congresswomen join the “fast”
Jamba Juice!
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…broke my 24-hour fast at sundown last night in memory of the 17th Tammuz. Tish B’Av mourns the Roman destruction of The Second Temple. Karma’s a bitch.
elvis on July 14, 2006 at 9:29 AM
Play it. Plaaaaaaay it. Play the Dunkin’ Donuts card. Yes!
GPE on July 14, 2006 at 9:30 AM
As Homer would say:
“Mmmmmmm, fasting, aaaggggghhhh”
speed647 on July 14, 2006 at 9:36 AM
According to Jamba Juice’s website, smoothies have 250-500 calories each. I wonder how long it takes to starve to death while drinking those.
kmcguire on July 14, 2006 at 9:36 AM
Tip #1: Make sure you keep plenty of snacks on hand. Fasting is hungry work!
Michelle, that’s a damned scary Mother Sheehan inpression. :-)
Pablo on July 14, 2006 at 9:40 AM
Michelle, you look good even when you’re obese…
I think I might try that Sheehan Diet Plan.
WildBillK
WildBillK on July 14, 2006 at 9:41 AM
LMAO!!!!
Michelle, you have a gift for satire.
Carvin Guitar Man on July 14, 2006 at 9:44 AM
Ok, that’s not fair! I’ve got bagel and cream cheese all over my keyboard.
I believe Michelle and Bryan have ripped the left a new one. Great job!
MCPO Airdale on July 14, 2006 at 9:45 AM
Bravo Michelle . . . I love it, what a great and filling way to fast.
rplat on July 14, 2006 at 9:52 AM
LoL… too funny.
The “Vents” just get better and better.
Michelle, you are definitely “growing” into your new public speaking career.
;)
Lawrence on July 14, 2006 at 9:53 AM
Michelle,
Was that you singing whilst preparing for your MBF (moon bat fast)? You sound great. Next stop: American Idol?
Note to Cindy: that “soft and gentle” air may lead to a Doritos binge.
-Fog
Fogpig on July 14, 2006 at 9:54 AM
On a serious note prior to knowing about this Cindy Sheehen thing I had a discussion with my wife about the following. My wife who is a petitie woman and travels alot around the US fretted that her “vice” is Jamba Juice. It tastes great is fast, refreshing and you can take it with you in a cab or to the air port. Her complaint “It has way too many calories to have anything larger than a small more than one time a day.”
Priest on July 14, 2006 at 9:54 AM
One of your best Vents! LMAO!!!
Babs on July 14, 2006 at 9:59 AM
Seeing Michelle pack away that food reminds me of an ex-girlfriend I had…tiny little thing but good grief she could eat. Lefty fasting is a bit like lefty patriotism. Doesn’t require any effort and doesn’t seem to match with the conventional definition. Bravo on the Sheehan imitation. I don’t know if she ever held a real job but I’d go nuts if I had to listen to her every day…well, I guess I do sort of have to listen to her every day since she’s on the news all the time. Thanks for the light-hearted vent…news this week with Israel, Iran, and the Norks was bringing me down. Have a good weekend.
austinnelly on July 14, 2006 at 10:03 AM
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
By the way, the Sheehan impression was eerie. Michelle should pull that one out more often. Should sing more, too. Her singing was much, much better than recent Vent music.
I really love Cindy Sheehan. Seriously do. Although I’m beginning to wonder if she isn’t a Rovian plant. If we made her up, no one would buy it. She’s just too perfect.
Professor Blather on July 14, 2006 at 10:16 AM
Great fast! So easy, so simple, so yummy. But no such thing as Jamba Juice where I live. However, I’m ready to join if we can get beer added to the list, especially homemade beer. I have over 150 full bottles just waiting to help the cause
frothmouth on July 14, 2006 at 10:33 AM
Michelle is a beautiful woman. Good job.
ar_basin on July 14, 2006 at 10:36 AM
Can we have a moonbat-style “hunger strike” until those toss-pots GO AWAY???
RH
RobertHuntingdon on July 14, 2006 at 10:38 AM
Any Jamba Juices in MA?
Richsamg on July 14, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Love this!
deedledee on July 14, 2006 at 10:57 AM
So Michelle, as you put it – how many pounds did you gain while on your fast?
And the Cindy immitation is -er- creepy.
CrazyFool on July 14, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Michelle,
How in the world can you put so much food away?
Your metabolism must be in the stratosphere.
George on July 14, 2006 at 11:06 AM
I heard Jamba Juice is introducing a new flavor called Mango Moonbat Mama™, but it’s just a rumor at this point.
Pavel on July 14, 2006 at 11:08 AM
Michelle,
I wish I had your metabolism!
Greatest Vent yet!!
SpiritOfCartman on July 14, 2006 at 11:09 AM
YOou made me hungry watching this one. You out did yourself one again, MIchelle. Toooooooooooooo funny.
Max1959 on July 14, 2006 at 11:14 AM
Did you notice the size of the onion ring?!?!?!
allie on July 14, 2006 at 11:15 AM
Large, overstuffed deli sub – $5.95
Onion rings – $3.50
Large Jamba juice – $4.50
Coffee with vanilla ice cream – $4.35
Michelle’s latest Vent – Priceless!
Ann on July 14, 2006 at 11:22 AM
Was that a cheese steak, Michele?
Ann on July 14, 2006 at 11:25 AM
That Cindy Sheehag impression had me rolling here at work. Great vent!
BelchSpeak on July 14, 2006 at 11:32 AM
How did you eat all that? I’m stuffed!
Fritz on July 14, 2006 at 11:40 AM
That was the funniest thing I have seen all week! Thanks for the laugh! BTW, I’m not very hungry anymore.
Shack on July 14, 2006 at 11:41 AM
Yes, that was a cheesesteak. A really, really good cheesesteak (I had one with hot peppers). If you want to follow in Hot Air’s footsteps and start the Cindy Sheehan Moonbat Fast, you’ll have to start at Loeb’s Deli.
Bryan on July 14, 2006 at 11:47 AM
Michelle…I’d buy you a fifty dollar steak just to watch you eat it! Good job on this vent! Keep up the great Cindy impersonation.ZULU
ZULU on July 14, 2006 at 11:52 AM
Lord how I love to see a good woman eat.
Pretty damn funny, Michelle…LOL
The Ugly American on July 14, 2006 at 11:55 AM
bwahahahaha
okay, I’ve composed myself.
bwahahahaha
That was funny. This should be an RNC ad or something.
raz0r on July 14, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Have you considered pitching the Vent to Fox News? A melding of the sphere with M$M, thereby expanding everyone’s definition of everything.
Mike H. on July 14, 2006 at 12:09 PM
HEY, I’m off to Loeb’s to begin my fast!
The Cindi impression was pretty good too…
Malpaso on July 14, 2006 at 12:14 PM
Hmmm… I say we start a New movement… PIG OUT FOR PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH!
Yep… Ham sandwiches all around… maybe a few Pork chops… then you have to wait an hour, and go work out!
/rinse /repeat…
Dam… almost as good as the idea for Beer for Boobs idea a student of mine once had to support Breast Cancer research, by having a drinkathon at Hooters…
Romeo13 on July 14, 2006 at 12:15 PM
If I fasted like that I would have to buy bigger pants. Unfortunately for Cindy running her mouth doesn’t burn as many calories as actual running.
frreal on July 14, 2006 at 12:19 PM
Great Vent!! I was rolling.
StephC on July 14, 2006 at 12:21 PM
From CodePink site “Fasters who has signed up to observe a FAST”
I am proud to announce to the World™ that I have signed up to observe a fast in my home town. CodePink hasn’t sent me the address of a fasting member yet, but I’m sure they’ll get right on it. I’ll let everyone know when I’m done watching the fast, it should be instructive.
Mike H. on July 14, 2006 at 12:22 PM
Very funny
Somebody get that woman a vomitorium!
I wish Yom Kippur fasters could have those same rules, I wouldn’t lose my mind during the fasts then!
Defector01 on July 14, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Michelle Hun,
Surrender! Give upthe fast!
I couldn’t bear to see you with a Moonbat Paunch :)
Yogurt on July 14, 2006 at 12:48 PM
Michelle,
That was waaaaayyy funny! Especially when you did the CIndy Sheehan voice. The muffin top pic wasn’t necessary, but, you have changed my mind about fasting if and when I ever want to protest something and achieve my moonbat goals. I’m going to load on Ben & Jerry’s.
Yiddish Steel on July 14, 2006 at 1:09 PM
Absolute. Fasting. Authority.
Dave Shay on July 14, 2006 at 1:13 PM
Hey, it’s called the troops home fast, not the troops home no Jamba Juice!
Brainster on July 14, 2006 at 1:14 PM
I’m still recovering slowly.
It’s Bryan I’m worried about–he had a sip of my mango Jambo Juice, which had a “Femme Boost” in it to compensate for the absence of Cindy’s favorite wheatgrass.
P.S. The apple strudel at Loeb’s is fabulous.
Michelle on July 14, 2006 at 1:21 PM
Is crow off Sheehan’s diet?
Doug on July 14, 2006 at 1:40 PM
Mmmmm, wheatgrass!
Brainster on July 14, 2006 at 1:43 PM
Michelle (or whoever it was that did the Cindy Sheehan voiceover), you soooo owe me a new keyboard … HILARIOUS!!!!
thirteen28 on July 14, 2006 at 2:00 PM
Mother Moony eats more while fasting than I do normally. And I sure wish I had the means to travel as much as she does!
Ellen on July 14, 2006 at 2:17 PM
The Cindy Sheehan voice was kinda scary, nightmarish.
Thx for the vent, it cleared things up for me.
The moonbat fast is now my choice over the Sadaam fast. (so damn fast). Although the ‘SoDamn Fast’ you just miss one lunch, I kinda like the ‘eating’ idea while fasting.
Travel can sure screw up plans fast…er….fast plans.
Sheehans legacy has been revealed.
shooter on July 14, 2006 at 2:22 PM
Holy crap that shit was funny.
venmax on July 14, 2006 at 2:24 PM
Bryan on “Femme Boost”, we want pictures.
shooter on July 14, 2006 at 2:25 PM
If you guys keep this fast up you’re going to have to add another wing to the Hot Air Corporate offices.
pistolero on July 14, 2006 at 2:32 PM
Oh, I’m perfectly fine. No femme boost is enough to overcome or even effect this Texan.
I am a bit worried about Michelle, though. Not all of that extra baggage in the screen shot is a digital effect.
Bryan on July 14, 2006 at 2:42 PM
Man, are you in trouble now ….
thirteen28 on July 14, 2006 at 2:50 PM
C’mon Michelle, Bryan, Allah.
Think “O’Reilly’s Most Ridiculous Item of the Day”
We know you have his phone number.
This Vent ROCKS and totally decimates the Sheehan-Gluttonous-Fasting diet.
-Fog
Fogpig on July 14, 2006 at 3:00 PM
Texan, oh I’m sorry.
… thx for the laughs today….needed them.
shooter on July 14, 2006 at 3:04 PM
Bryan’s expense account has been revoked.
Michelle on July 14, 2006 at 3:05 PM
Love the voice MM, the whole crew outdid yourselves on this…by the way my wife is green with envy over your hummingbird metabolism MM. Keep up the good work, I am off to Best Buy for a new keyboard (somehow, Coke got sprayed on the one I have now…I blame Hot Air)
jcon96 on July 14, 2006 at 3:12 PM
OK, I don’t need to see a video of Michelle (or anyone) pigging out. I used to be able to eat like that. Not anymore. Enjoy it while you can, Michelle!
Gandhi she (Sheehan) ain’t.
Oh, and the server put the ice scoop back in the ice after touching the handle with her bare hand! A definite health no-no, according to one of those TV news magazines.
Vanya on July 14, 2006 at 3:16 PM
If Bryans expense account is revoked… Doesn’t this mean you have to pick up the tab at the Loebs Hot Air barbecue? (we are all invited, right? )
Wyrd on July 14, 2006 at 3:17 PM
Well, I only used it to buy you that awful Jamba Juice anyway. That Mango thing tasted like anti-freeze mixed with chalk and sand.
Bryan on July 14, 2006 at 3:26 PM
Color me impressed. There’s just something about seeing an attractive woman pack food down like that.
But more to the point, I wish my parents employed Sheehan’s fasting method when I was growing up. Clearly “water only” fasters have totally missed the boat on this thing.
kaseiryu on July 14, 2006 at 3:46 PM
I’ve decided to do my part to bring the troops home by observing the “rolling fast.” My portion will take place between lunch and supper tomorrow.
Not a bad Cindy Sheehan impression. . . .Laura Ingraham has set the bar way too high, though.
XTeacher on July 14, 2006 at 3:52 PM
This was possibly the funniest VENT yet, from the “Cindy” vocal down to the look on the lady at Jamba Juice’s face when you mentioned that it was part of a “fast”.
It was also a pleasure watching that rarest of public creatures in action…A fit, pretty woman who knows how to eat well and without a hint of self-consciousness.
(The “Black Widow” herself would be proud…Is Coney Island in your sights for next July 4th?)
You’ve got them on the run, Michelle. Keep swinging!
52Ranger on July 14, 2006 at 4:10 PM
I’ll be in Philadelphia next week and will support the troops with a totally Cheese steak diet!
Ann, from Miami, where there is no such thing as a good cheese steak
Ann on July 14, 2006 at 4:13 PM
… and I’ll buy one for Bryan – with!
Ann on July 14, 2006 at 4:15 PM
Hey Ann. Order it “wit”, not with. :)
Laddy on July 14, 2006 at 4:58 PM
You are so right Laddy! Guess I’ve been in Miami too long.
Ann on July 14, 2006 at 5:30 PM
How about a media fast? Each celebrity agrees to go 24 hours without saying something stupid to a reporter. If you want to bring about change, you have to make sacrifices.
Jim Treacher on July 14, 2006 at 5:42 PM
wish I could have checked HOTAIR earilier. Would have improved my whole day. Most entertaining vent yet. Best of the best. Did you get the pre-fast eating scent from the classic movie “Tom Jones”? If yes, Great re-make. If not, creative genius. Loved it.
wcarr on July 14, 2006 at 5:48 PM
looks like you will need to go on a diet michelle to get over what Cindy’s fast did to your waistline!!
lmfao!! nothing like a good comedian relief from our friends the pacifists!!
DiverMike — Proud American trying to quit laughing!!
DiverMike on July 14, 2006 at 6:30 PM
At last!
Michelle, I’ve found someone in this world who has a BIGGER
sarcasm chip installed than I have!
I didn’t think it was possible!
(well done, and that’s not sarcasm!)
Wander on July 14, 2006 at 7:04 PM
Hilarious, best vent yet!
MRegine on July 14, 2006 at 8:51 PM
Who knew fasts could be so fattening!
Lady Heather on July 14, 2006 at 9:24 PM
Yeah! How about a Labor Day Hot Air cheesesteak pigout at Loeb’s Deli?
NMBA – No Moonbats Allowed
speed647 on July 14, 2006 at 9:43 PM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
That stuff looks GOOOD! I never heard of Jamba Juice before.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Rotatating Ad positions for Jamba & the Deli are in order.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Reality Check on July 14, 2006 at 10:37 PM
oh ok, I’ll switch to Twinkies Light
johnnyU on July 15, 2006 at 12:04 AM
Oh goodness, this is priceless! One of my favorite Vents yet!
SisterToldjah on July 15, 2006 at 12:53 AM
Dearest Michelle: This episode was funnier than any skit I’ve seen come out of Saturday Night Live in years. Thanks for the laffs.
chicagoray on July 15, 2006 at 5:10 AM
I haven’t heard Laura’s Cindy Sheehan impersonation, but Michelle’s is totally fast. (Like Mother Sheehan, I’m trying to coin new definitions for the word “fast”.)
God I would love to see Laura and Michelle on O’Reilly doing dueling Sheehan imitations. That would be so totally fast!
So is the left playing fast and loose with their latest stunt? Or is it true that anyone that’s travelled in Europe knows how hard it is to be on a hunger strike while on the road. There is just so much material here!
atbay on July 15, 2006 at 10:36 AM
Michelle–
If you make a documentary, I will buy it. That’s $20 closer to cost-justification of such a project.
That’s what I thought when I saw this vent.
“Do you think it’s cheating?” “Yes.”
JamesVersusEveryone on July 15, 2006 at 10:53 AM
HIGH – LARIOUS——GREAT VENT—Cindy Shee-hang—What a disgrace to the memory of her hero son . BTW–How much weight did Bryan gain during this SHEE-BAT fast ??
PAPA BEAR on July 15, 2006 at 3:56 PM
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