Utah congressional candidate: Satan wants me to lose
posted at 2:11 pm on June 23, 2006 by Allahpundit
Alas, my friends. He’s one of ours.
“There’s another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.,” Jacob said. “It’s the devil is what it is. I don’t want you to print that, but it feels like that’s what it is.”…
“You know, you plan, you organize, you put your budget together and when you have 10 things fall through, not just one, there’s some other, something else that is happening,” Jacob said.
Asked if he actually believed that “something else” was indeed Satan, Jacob said: “I don’t know who else it would be if it wasn’t him. Now when that gets out in the paper, I’m going to be one of the screw-loose people.“
Adding to the infernal mystery: Satan appears to be against Jacob’s opponent, too.
Jacob, who like [Rep. Chris] Cannon is LDS, said he is not the only one who is being opposed by Beelzebub. He said both Cannon and Sen. Bob Bennett have lost millions of dollars since going to Congress, and he believes their adversity is rooted in the same dark origins.
Cannon and Bennett are also Republicans. Which means, just like we’ve always suspected, Satan’s probably a Democrat.
Will Glenn retract?
Update: I suppose this makes Jacob a “Christianist,” which is all the peg I need to unleash this righteous screed against Saint Andrew. The line about Jesse Helms’s book is my favorite.
Blowback
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They are just pandering to their religious constituents, and there are many in Utah.
Lots of people see battles of good vs evil in everyday things.
“Christianists” HA! As they say in the SF Bayarrhea, “that’s hella lame.”
This from Time, the mag that has claimed “God is Dead” on the cover twice. No wonder circulation is dropping, Capitalism strikes again!
NTWR on June 23, 2006 at 2:19 PM
He has not directly confronted Helen Thomas yet.
easy87us on June 23, 2006 at 2:25 PM
Hey I didn’t force anybody to sign on the dotted line, in blood, in triplicate and get it notarized. Shit Happens. Its right there in the fine print on page 2,459 paragraph 3 sub paragraph 2 section C.
Iblis on June 23, 2006 at 2:34 PM
This proves that we have our own set of coconuts. At least these don’t harm our troops and our country.
Entelechy on June 23, 2006 at 2:49 PM
Sometimes, just sometimes, I get tired of seeing stupid crap in the news. This counts. He’s a Christian, he’s in Utah, what more needs to be said?
Cary on June 23, 2006 at 2:51 PM
Didja ever think she might BE Satan?
Duty, Honor, Country
(in THAT order)
Rowane
Rowane on June 23, 2006 at 3:01 PM
Rowane, the only thing I can say is that Hollywood has overlooked Helen for roles in Exorcist and The Omen. She could have won Oscars. She is the REAL DEAL!
easy87us on June 23, 2006 at 3:42 PM
Rowane, she is the Antichrist :)
Entelechy on June 23, 2006 at 3:44 PM
Anyone got a powerdrill? Help replace those screws?
Defector01 on June 23, 2006 at 4:54 PM
Golly, you would think Satan would have a lot more to do than fool around with this numbnut’s campaign. I mean, this is Satan we’re talking about.
honora on June 23, 2006 at 4:56 PM
IMO people who blame their ills on Satan are usually in denial about their own failings. Needless to say, not exactly the kind of person I would want representing me.
speed647 on June 23, 2006 at 9:11 PM
I think the main point is being missed in both the commentary and replies. Jacob has become a credible candidate only because he favors immigration enforcement whereas Cannon supports open borders. Cannon was in deep trouble precisely because of his “let’s give America to the illegals” mentality. Jacob’s financial problems and loony statements have taken attention from what should be a referendum on immigration. He will probably lose badly because of his intemperate (I would say crazy) statements and the pro-amnesty and open borders lobby will trumpet this as a repudiation of the “enforcement only” approach among Republicans. Too bad.
ptolemy on June 24, 2006 at 11:24 AM
geez, can we somehow spin this into “comic relief”???
Aylios on April 28, 2007 at 1:04 PM