Walk your lobster
posted at 2:23 pm on June 13, 2006 by Bryan
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This has nothing to do with Fitzmas or Z-man’s timely demise, but it’s priceless: Whole Foods in Austin believes its customers may–may–be behaving in an uncivilized manner toward the lobsters they buy and take home. Apparently the geniuses at Whole Foods believe they’re selling pets or something. Anyway, I won’t quote the Statesman’s column. Much. It’s all just too delicious, so you have to read the whole thing. Here’s a taste.
One way Whole Foods could make some significant improvement would be to release all the lobsters into Town Lake. That way I could collect them and eat them.
Still, on Thursday the Whole Foods leadership will discuss whether to discontinue marketing live lobsters because the lobsters may not be getting humane treatment. At issue here is what people do with the lobsters when they take them home — that is, boil them and dip them in drawn butter. “It’s ultimately how they’re handled by the consumer after they go home that’s a concern,” Lowery said.
What are we supposed to do? Give them names like Larry the Lobster and take them for a walk?
You have to register to read the rest, but you know how to get around that.
There is a serious issue lurking in that succulent column, which is this: Lefties are daft. You heard it here first.
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I suscribe to the Homer Simpson school of Lobster Care
Take a puny one home
Fatten it up (that’s the humane treatment)
then eat it!
Defector01 on June 13, 2006 at 2:29 PM
This reminds me of CheChe…
But these guys are serious, whereas CheChe, IMHO, is parody.
EFG on June 13, 2006 at 2:29 PM
“Everybody run,there’s a lobster lose! Cover yourselves in butter and get a slice of lemon just in case! lookout,he’s vengeful”
( channeling “the Idiot” ala NatLamp)
bbz123 on June 13, 2006 at 2:30 PM
Whole Foods = Whole Paycheck
The only people who can afford to shop there are trust fund hippies.
The Ugly American on June 13, 2006 at 2:31 PM
Here comes a Bikini Whale!!!!!…
The Ugly American on June 13, 2006 at 2:33 PM
I see Whole Foods’ point… how can you expect to keep hallal meals, a Koran and a prayer mat under water?
Prophet on June 13, 2006 at 2:34 PM
I usually force the lobsters to race each other. Loser into the pot. The faster survive until, of course, all the guests arrive. Then they all die!
Mwuhahahaha.
JammieWearingFool on June 13, 2006 at 2:40 PM
HOLD YOUR &^**&87 HORSES!
With this logic, some day we have to completely stop butchering animals!
Give me my life lobsters! I promise to treat it humanely…I make sushi out of them.
Damn…eating soy beans and mushrooms every day????!
ONE MORE REASON TO TAKE BACK GOP NOW!
easy87us on June 13, 2006 at 2:47 PM
Here is food for thought – the Lobsters like you as much as you like them! (Yes, we are on their menu …)
omegaram on June 13, 2006 at 2:47 PM
There’s one near me and nearly every parking spot in the lot is “compact”. My SUV doesn’t feel welcome there.
see-dubya on June 13, 2006 at 2:48 PM
That is, there’s a Whole Foods near me. Probably lobsters, too, but that’s not what I meant.
see-dubya on June 13, 2006 at 2:48 PM
What doesn’t belong on this list?
Lobster
Clam
Chinese man hit by a bus
Shrimp
That’s right. The Clam. It’s a bivalve. The others are crustaceans.
pistolero on June 13, 2006 at 2:49 PM
This isn’t so absurd. I walk my pork loin back a forth a few times through a fine Mediterranian pork rub before grilling. Every time.
Hoodlumman on June 13, 2006 at 2:49 PM
I once bought a couple of live lobsters and then humiliated them after I brought them home by walking around in front of them dressed in men’s underwear.
pjcomix on June 13, 2006 at 3:12 PM
I live near the Whole Foods mentioned in the Statesman.
Seems like mostly PETA types shop there anyway.
The same people that believe I should pay for other MIGRANT visitors medicare and anchor baby’s.
The people that sit on their butts and complain about everything.
Kramer on June 13, 2006 at 3:20 PM
PJCOMIX
If I then put a leash around a lobster is that humiliation?
Defector01 on June 13, 2006 at 3:44 PM
Defector-
WHOLE FOODS=ABU GHRAIB!
see-dubya on June 13, 2006 at 3:46 PM
I have been wanting to buy a lobseter for my fish tank, but its only 50 gallons :(
Wyrd on June 13, 2006 at 4:43 PM
See-Dubya
Based on the prices I pay for food there i’d prefer to put women’s panties on my head or have a leash around my neck. It’d be less painful
Defector01 on June 13, 2006 at 5:24 PM
Look I am very humane to my lobsters. They don’t even have to walk, they are flown in from Eddy’s in a nice comfy box and I personally carry them over to the roiling boil cook pot. I am always glad to have them over for dinner.
Lobster Mexicana
Serves 4
2 1.5 LB Fresh Eddy Lobsters (see order page)
2 Tomatoes, chopped
1/4 cup Green pepper, chopped
1/2 tsp Ground Cumin
1/4 tsp Allspice
1/8 tsp Crushed Red Pepper
1/2 cup Light Cream
2 cups Cracker Crumbs
1/3 cup Butter, melted
Limes cut into wedges for garnish
Nachos for garnish
Cook and pick your lobsters. Mix the lobster meat, tomatoes and green peppers together. Pour into a long baking dish. Blend spices and cream. Pour 1/4 cup of the spiced cream over the lobster mixture. Mix the crumbs and melted butter. Sprinkle over the lobster mixture and pour on the remaining cream. Bake at 375° for 30 minutes. Garnish with the limes and nachos. Serve with rice and salad.
JohnMc on June 13, 2006 at 5:57 PM
JohnMc,
Oh man … that makes me hungry! Thanks for the recipe:) We might try it out for Father’s Day.
wytammic on June 13, 2006 at 6:53 PM
JohnMc, Replace the cumin by one whole chopped galic…it won’t disappoint you, if you like galic, of course.
easy87us on June 13, 2006 at 7:21 PM
The proper way to treat a lobster:
Dig a trench in the beach, about ten feet long by four feet wide, deep enough that the bottom is damp/wet. Build a bonfire in the trench and let it burn about halfway down. Cover coals with about a foot of semi-dry seaweed. Place lobster (and crab, and potatoes, corn-on-the-cob, etc.) on seaweed. Cover with another foot of seaweed, then peg down a tarp over everything. Go play volleyball for a half hour or so. Pull off the tarp and the top layer of seaweed and dig in!
Should I mention that I used to summer on the Maine seacoast? Bailey Island, off Brunswick, Maine. Thirty-five years ago, it was heaven on earth…
Rusty Bill on June 13, 2006 at 9:00 PM
pistolero, I believe you are being culturally insensitive. I would replace the Chinese man with a liberal.
rockdalian on June 13, 2006 at 9:48 PM
The lobsters arent receiving humane treatment after they are taken home? HMMMMM?? lets just see.. they spend countless days in a big tank at the grocery store with their claws banded shut. Where im sure they have a marine biologist checking the salinity and Ph daily, not just some migrant stocker-boy throwing salt in the tank every so often.
If anything they are more humane after they get home. At least they have a breif moment of freedom before being dropped in the pot.
the observer on June 14, 2006 at 2:16 AM
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