World Cup: Czech Republic 3, U.S. 0

posted at 2:10 pm on June 12, 2006 by Allahpundit

This morning the Commissar called it “the most important match in U.S. soccer history.” Super.

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There IS no such thing as “U.S. soccer history” outside of a bunch of suburban kids running around while their moms drink pina coladas on the sidelines. Were we playing in some sort of tournament in Europe? Why? Just curious.

clyde on June 12, 2006 at 2:18 PM

Czecho Brutality?…LOL

easy87us on June 12, 2006 at 2:20 PM

Kyle Rote, Jr chose soccer instead of football like his famous father Kyle Rote, Sr. who played for the New York Giants.

Junior could have been a big star in the NFL, but instead chose a different path. What ever happened to Kyle Rote, Jr.?

Speaks volumes about the sport of soccer in America! Burp.

Grouper on June 12, 2006 at 2:23 PM

I attended the World Cup years ago. It would have to work its way up to boring. But, hey, different strokes. I mean, are you familiar with curling??? Ye gods!!!

honora on June 12, 2006 at 2:24 PM

Amazing. In typical American international competition, expectations run high until they actually step onto the field/ice.
American hockey last olympics, American baseball last spring in the World Baseball Classic….just pathetic.

webproze on June 12, 2006 at 2:28 PM

As important to me as a curling match.

ForYourEdification on June 12, 2006 at 2:28 PM

Wow, the Czechs really ran the score up, didn’t they?

Pablo on June 12, 2006 at 2:38 PM

Of course, there’s still hope for the upcoming World Cup matches against Italy and Ghana. After all, the USA is the 5th ranked team in the FIFA World Rankings, which is highly impressive.

And, hey, curling is great. :D I enjoy it more than American Football personally.

American_Pride1701 on June 12, 2006 at 2:43 PM

Iran lost to Mexico 3-1, so we’ve got that going for us.

(I think)

Richsamg on June 12, 2006 at 2:59 PM

Clyde,

To answer your question, all those Chzech players were born commies. So, it was US against the commies.

Richsamg on June 12, 2006 at 3:01 PM

Soccer is a kid’s sport, nothing but glorified kickball. There is no reason for soccer when you have Hockey. The rest of the world will catch up, one day.

gash on June 12, 2006 at 3:11 PM

3-0 is a blowout huh. To me, 48-0, Auburn over Alabama is a blowout. 3-0 is a baseball score. Can’t wait til the curling championships in where, Banff? Gotta go iron my broom..

clyde on June 12, 2006 at 3:12 PM

Soccer. Er, football. Whatever. Big, big yawn. I lived in the UK for years. Every night on the news, five straight minutes of regional soccer (er, football) scores, sounding like this: Nil-Nil, 1-nil, 1-1, nil-nil …. you get the idea. It got old, very quick. Especially coming home from work and finding televisions was showing soccer on two channels, a black and white movie in French on ITV, and either snooker or darts on the other one. But I digress.

I have a theory on soccer: Europeans love it because it is the sports equivalent (if you call it a sport) of socialism. Americans don’t much cotton to socialism, thus we don’t like soccer. Think about it. A whole group working together; no one really stands out (no matter how much Europeans pretend otherwise); a lot of time goes by and nothing much happens; when faced with conflict on the field (er, pitch), the players look to a mommy figure to raise a shiny colored card rather than sorting it out themselves; in the end, when its tied (which it is most of the time it seems like), the whole thing is decided randomnly with penalty kicks – eliminating merit from the equation.

It’s anti-conservative. It’s a sport for liberals. To its core. Hence, it bores the crap out of Americans.

It’s just a theory. But I’m onto something, something about the basic structure of socialist countries.

Here’s a question: if America dominated the sport, would we care more?

More importantly: if the sissies stopped rolling around on the ground faking in injuries, and prancing around the field after every goal like Christ just came back again, and they basically stopped acting like the whole sport belongs on Brokeback Mountain … do ya think we’d care more?

Or would it still be as boring as whales humping? No offense to any whales.

Just curious. Very mildly curious. Everything about soccer is mild … hence my mild curiousity.

Yeah, I played for a dozen years as a kid. Still boring. Still mild.

I am convinced that if soccer was abolished, the European economy would rebound and we might actually have some competition in the world.

I blame soccer. Dammit … football. I’ll bet John Kerry loves it.

Professor Blather on June 12, 2006 at 3:28 PM

Czech wins
Flawless victory

I like soccer, played it for years as a kid, and its disappointing

Defector01 on June 12, 2006 at 3:47 PM

Professor, I cannot believe you can write so many words on soccer!

“Here’s a question: if America dominated the sport, would we care more?”

Not really. Not soccer….not lawn bowling…not shuffle board…not cricket…

Footballs and basket balls are popular for a good reason…it keep you blood pressure up through out the entire game.

I fall asleep on a soccer game in 10 minutes….

easy87us on June 12, 2006 at 3:47 PM

Darts and snooker. HAHAHAHAH

Yeah, and reruns of EastEnders.

clyde on June 12, 2006 at 3:48 PM

Well the notion that soccer is for sissies is just nuts. Hell it’s more dangerous to be a soccer fan in some stadiums than to be an American football player. I don’t care for it because there are too many players on the field and too little scoring. I suspect it’s what one grows up with. The idea that some sports are liberal and “anti-conservative”…alrighty then. (I think there are definite political attributes to flowers, don’t you? I feel gladiolas are definitly conservative, you know, upright and solid. Helpp…..)

honora on June 12, 2006 at 4:10 PM

Professor Blather aid:
Here’s a question: if America dominated the sport, would we care more?

Nah. Our women’s softball team dominated in the Olympics, and nobody really gave a rat’s….umm…you know:)

BigOrangeAxe on June 12, 2006 at 4:27 PM

Whether soccer is a good sport or not is beside the question. Everywhere you see in society today that sport is being crammed down our throats. I’ve played in high school during numerous PE classes – remember them? – and we are constantly being told that the “world” plays it so we must too. Don’t care, never will, unless the daughter plays it in school. That’s the whole thrust.

ScottG on June 12, 2006 at 4:46 PM

gotta go iron my broom- GOOD one Clyde!
Just let me know when the ‘fans’ erupt,.. like Mt St. Helens they are.
Til then, I’ll be watching NorthDakotaCam.

shooter on June 12, 2006 at 4:53 PM

Nobody cares, cause it’s just not our sport. Not many cared about hockey before the great US victory at the 1980 Olympics. Even with that, it took a while for the NHL to catch on nation-wide.

Many sports (like golf, NASCAR, or even baseball) are boring to those who are not “into” it and grasp the subtleties and know the players.

Watched a good bowling tournament lately? :-)

dman on June 12, 2006 at 4:56 PM

I feel gladiolas are definitly conservative, you know, upright and solid. Helpp…..)
.honora on June 12, 2006 at 4:10 PM

OK, Lets get back to the STRAIGHT LONG BLONDE HAIR…

shooter on June 12, 2006 at 4:56 PM

I can’t get excited about the World Cup, for reasons eloquently deatiled by the good Prof., and this one. World Cup Soccer, like the Olympics, is a Euro sorrogate for war. Thus, everyone likes to pile on the USA. If you don’t believe me, wait for the England v. Argentina game, if it ever happens. Falklands Redux.

Kid from Brooklyn on June 12, 2006 at 5:02 PM

Let me think…….

No,

DON’T CARE!

NRA4Freedom on June 12, 2006 at 5:02 PM

Watching soccer is like watching grass grow or golf which may be worse. The sport could be much more interesting if they didn’t have that stupid offsides rule.

Anyway being of Czech heritage and an American, there was no way I could be on the losing side.

docdave on June 12, 2006 at 5:56 PM

Ummmm….. it’s soccer…..I don’t care…..

sMack on June 12, 2006 at 7:40 PM

“I have a theory on soccer: Europeans love it because it is the sports equivalent (if you call it a sport) of socialism. Americans don’t much cotton to socialism, thus we don’t like soccer”

I like the Professor.

PC Moms push soccer because it is less physical than football, and it doesn’t put individuals into the spotlight like baseball.

In baseball kids swing a cruel bat (war-club). In football, players use strategies and ape-like physical superiority (testosterone) to crush the enemy. They also learn to fight in a group with the same mindset used on the battlefield.

I am certain playing soccer instead of American sports as a kid makes you stupider. Neural pathways are built in children up to around age 12. Soccer is a wuss game that you play without your hands. Talk about leveling the playing field!

Lets see. I want to make sure kids don’t maximize their potential. I know, lets tie their hands together and add a bunch of sissy restrictions…

This not only holds back the most talented players, but it keeps kids from developing the hand-brain coordination they would get from a game where hands are used.

The hand is what separates us from the apes. A child must begin to play violin before the age of five if he is to have any chance of becoming a world class violinist. Neural paths must be built, and layered upon. Remember the wolf-boy. In cases of children raised by animals and later brought to civilization, these creatures usually cannot make up for the deprivation later. They never gain full language skills.

Football is violent and risky but we dont let football players head-butt, while soccer players bang rock hard balls off their heads until their brains shear into pulp. Neurological damage is unavoidable.

Brain damage, stunted development, group think.

And may I add, they run around like Richard Gere with a gerbil problem

entagor on June 12, 2006 at 11:11 PM

Soccer. Puh-leeze.

Most Americans properly group soccer – in terms of its entertainment value as a spectator sport – with fishing, bowling, and badminton. Even golf is more entertaining (although not by much).

How do you spell “soccer?” B-O-R-I-N-G. We’ll never do well in it for the simple reason that any developing American athlete in school who has superstar potential wants to participate in a sport that (1) is more interesting to play, and (2) has some real income potential.

The high-water mark for soccer’s popularity here probably came a few years ago, when that gal advertised her sport bra by tearing off her shirt; lest we forget, that illuminating moment came after the US and Chinese teams played to what, a 0-0 tie in regulation? Ooooh! How exciting. And even then, soccer only gained popularity among girls, and that popularity didn’t last once the novelty of tearing off their shirts ended.

I mean, imagine how much more boring baseball would be – 75% of of which involves simply sitting or standing around, waiting for something to happen – if after 9 innings the score was still 0-0 and the game was decided by having a home-run hitting contest. Would anyone watch? Would anyone care?

There was a passage in the book, “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche” which went to the effect that Real Men pay no attention to other countries’ surpassing us in things like soccer and gymnastics because they’re secure in the knowledge that our nuclear superiority makes such contests meaningless. ‘Nuff said.

Spurius Ligustinus on June 13, 2006 at 12:37 PM

Soccer isn’t football. Football is football.
:)

hadsil on June 14, 2006 at 2:13 AM