Patches knows why the caged bird sings

posted at 3:12 pm on June 6, 2006 by Allahpundit

You know what they say. When life gives you lemons, pander shamelessly to your minority constituents by making lemonade a conservative would be pilloried for.

Denying that he was drunk and or that he asked the Capitol Police for preferential treatment, Kennedy, a Rhode Island congressman, said he’s prepared “in terms of bookings, in terms of mug shots, fingerprints, whatever they might have me do.”

“It’s what anyone else would have done to them if they were an African-American in Anacostia,” Kennedy said in a shaky voice, referring to the mostly minority neighborhood in southeastern Washington.

Not even Clinton tried to ingratiate himself with African-American voters that condescendingly, although I’ll bet he’s kicking himself in hindsight for not doing so. His apology for the Lewinsky scandal would have gone down a lot smoother if he had blamed it on the country’s preoccupation with “the potency of black male sexuality.”

The Therapist says Patches just needs to get it out of his system.

Breaking on Hot Air



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Dread Pirate Roberts VI on June 6, 2006 at 3:15 PM

“Ok, congressman Kennedy, turn to the left please…oh, wait, we need to talk to your spokesman first…hmmm…he says we need to call your lawyer first…oh..yeah…your lawyer is busy doing some cover-up for Teddy…hmm..well, ok, can you come back tomorrow please…you set the time…sorry to bother you…the white shirt is fine, no need to wear a tie unless you want to…”

clyde on June 6, 2006 at 3:23 PM

What he wants is the Cynthia McKinney treatment. Indeed, what Chappaquiddick Jr. really wants is “Kennedy Affirmative Action”, same as the old man got for leaving Mary Jo Kopecne to drown in 4 feet of water. This “treat me like one of the brothers” crap is just a revolting smokescreen.

Kid from Brooklyn on June 6, 2006 at 3:27 PM

I take back that “Jerk!” comment! He’s a Tool!

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on June 6, 2006 at 3:31 PM

A capitalist tool, at that.

clyde on June 6, 2006 at 3:39 PM

Toni Morrison handled it for Clinton: “Clinton displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald’s-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas.”

Alex K on June 6, 2006 at 3:44 PM

He could get away with no mug shot, no breath test, absolutely nothing, tells you that liberals really rule with immunity!

I emphasize the word “RULE”, not serve.

easy87us on June 6, 2006 at 3:55 PM



Another great choice of a word for the Kennedy dynasty could be IMPUNITY.

ForYourEdification on June 6, 2006 at 4:09 PM

Another Kennedy slopping at the public trough for whisky money. Reminds me of the Katrina Superdome crowd. Neither ever hit a lick in their whole lives from generation to generation.

Shmo on June 6, 2006 at 4:21 PM

Wait…maybe the Capitol Hill Police thought he was an illegal alien! That could explain the free ride.

brtex on June 6, 2006 at 4:38 PM

The Kennedy legacy is safe. He gets out of 30 day rehab and immediately LIES to himself and others. Treatments goin’ just fine, thank you. His insanity is that he believes his own lies. Now he said that “10 of the 12 police officers said they did not smell any alcohol on my breath.” as they were on the other side of his wrecked car… and 4 out of 5 dentists agree.
Talk about an Inconvenient Truth.
Can we safely say the Dems are The ‘Culture of Inconvenient Truths’?

shooter on June 6, 2006 at 4:56 PM

did he take more pills before he said THIS?

Defector01 on June 6, 2006 at 5:02 PM

-oddball post-
via your ‘bosses’ site linked to newsbusters-
.. well worth the trip.
….Ann Coulter after sparring w/Loser Lauer. “Coulter: “Hey where’s Katie? Did she leave or something?”….
I havent laughed so hard in quite a while.

shooter on June 6, 2006 at 5:37 PM

Out of rehab in record time…now, that’s what I call “Quickie Rehab”.

The media is still trying to shove down our throat that “Crash” is just addicted to pills. That’s one helluva lot more respectable than being a pathetic drunk. No, he’s a damn drunk addicted to pills.

Should he “sleep drive” again and kill someone (God forbid), he’s a shoo-in for the Senate.

doingwhatican on June 6, 2006 at 6:38 PM

I’m with brtex, Kennedy should have asked to be treated like an illegal alien. Then half of Congress would want to just forget he ever drove while he was impaired.

4thelittleguy on June 6, 2006 at 6:54 PM

He entered rehab and came out a black man!

“…he’s prepared “in terms of bookings, in terms of mug shots, fingerprints, whatever they might have me do.”

Bring on the torture. Crush my personal info into a 3×5 card. Lash me with photography. Force my hands into pots of ink. I am ready to face my destiny as a black man. Me and my brothers, together. My fingers! My fingers. The ink! The INk! Oh the humanity!

I am no longer just a Kennedy.

Today, I am a black Kennedy. THE black Kennedy.

I will really go to jail for at least a few hours.
comment: this is why trust funds are a bad thing.

I say bring on the Gitmo torture. I want a growling dog barking close to his face more than once. I want at least one naked human pyramid. No, cancel that, he is a Kennedy. That might not be torture.

I know, make him be a white man again. That is a burden he cannot handle.
‘White’ = burden
‘Man’ = shame
‘A’ = not special

And let me be his special friend

entagor on June 7, 2006 at 10:31 AM

Unfortunately for him, Kennedy won’t be America’s first black President. That honor fell to Clinton.

Okay, I’ve had my fun…

Chappy on June 7, 2006 at 7:52 PM